I stopped the car, I don’t even think I shut it off, and went to see if I could help.. I went and stood over the man on the pavement while his friend who also was not carrying a cell phone went to call for emergency help. I watched close to make sure he was breathing. I felt bad because there was really nothing I could do. He was unconscious. I tried to see if he was awake by talking to him. But there was no response. I just watched helplessly, while reading of basic first aid and cpr ran through my head. All I could think of was not to let anyone move him cause he could have broke his back or neck falling that hard onto the pavement..

As I watched a small pool of blood had formed from the back of his head.. Whether it had been there the whole time, I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t seem to get any bigger.. If it had, I knew I had a clean beach towel in my car I could have used to try and put under his head to help stop the bleeding.. But again should I even move him that much. The things that run through your head when something like that it happening..

At first the driver ran to the ranger station right across from where we were, but they were not open yet so no one was there. I guess he had a radio in his truck as he ran back to the truck and within just a minute there were cars with sirens and police and other public works trucks coming from all directions. Though the man was breathing it was slow.. and he did have a strong pulse. One of the men that showed up from the ranger station garage thought he had stopped breathing and checked to make sure his airway was not blocked.. He gave him a couple breaths to make sure he was breathing seemed to get a bit better. This man also checked his pulse and agreed that his pulse was strong..

The blood pool from his head did not seem to get any larger in the few minutes I was there. Public works men who were his friends arrived and the police and volunteer guys, probably fire department guys, arrived and seemed to have everything under control..

I started to feel as though I had no business there anymore and that I might appear to the arriving emergency crew as a gawking spectator. So I got in my car and went to work. I wasn’t much help but I had done all I could do and needed to give them the space they needed to work.

I was concerned for the man but felt okay with everything till I got to work..

I sat down at my computer arriving just on time. I started trying to open up my same programs I have opened on my computer the last three years of my life. Only thing was, I couldn’t focus enough to even click on the links I needed to. I was having a major delay reaction.. My heart started pounding and I could not focus my mind. Suddenly I nearly started crying. There was no way I was able to deal with the public at that moment. I kept seeing his pale face and the pool of blood in my mind. Knowing I may never know if he was going to be okay. I didn’t even know his name.

I am one of those people that are good in a crisis but fall apart when it is over with. I started shaking and told a couple co-workers what had happened.. I went to try and find a supervisor to tell them it was going to be a few minutes till I could collect myself enough to answer the phones. But of course there was none to be found.

I sat for a few minutes to comprehend what had just happened. Trying to relax and to tell myself I had done all I could. I wished I could just go home.. I was, for a time, thinking about the mortality of things and how in a flash everything in a person’s life can change.. How within the few seconds it took for the driver of that truck to look back in his mirror and stop the truck, within only a few short feet, his life had changed. The man, his co-worker, his friend, lay on the ground, possibly dying. He had only a few moments before been doing his regular route throwing cans of trash into the back of the truck with possibly no cares in the world and with a twist of fate it had all changed.

As I collected myself and felt myself calm down enough that I was able to start up the programs on my computer, I knew I could take a bit more time if I needed it. I felt that the faster I got back to my job the faster I could just go back to focusing and put aside the events just past. The world doesn’t stop for tragedy.

I didn’t have trouble most of the day.. I didn’t try to sell things like I was supposed to I focused on just the necessities of fixing the customers problems to the best of my ability.. But every time I stopped either for break or lunch my thoughts were filled with concern for what was happening to the man. Did I do the right thing? Could I have done more? Should I have done nothing?

After work I went out for my usual Friday night-out dinner. I didn’t taste my food.. I don’t remember eating half of it.. Even now I feel a strange sort of numb feeling. Should I call the hospital and see if I can find out any information? What would I tell them? I didn’t have a name. I’m not related. Again, helpless to the feelings.