DreamersReality.com

I know I am not supposed to come back to the forum, but i have gotten many e-mails questioning my exsisance. Well, im still alive and yes, of corse I miss all of you. I guess i can fill you in on whats been hapening in my life since ive been gone.
I got my braces off, and now i have retainers. My teeth look beautiful and the funny thing is, i look older (not su sure if that is a good thing). I take my licence test on December 1st, i really hope i pass because that is the day i turn 17! (i know, im so young right?).
Band has been keeping me really buisy, i have tuesday night practices from 6-9 and i am gone every saturday till late or early sunday. But hey, i love band. Recently i started teaching myself how to play the tuba/suzaphone, its a lot harder then i thought. And a whole different cleff and style of playing then my original instrument, my clarinet. But, i love a challenge.
School has been tough latley. Junior year is really challenging, but i have 5 a's 1 b and 1 c+/b- (in algebra). Ive never been strong in math, but im working on it. It has recently gotten tough for me to focus in school because my family suffered a loss 2 weeks ago, and im the one who found him. The whole experience has really hurt my in an emotional way and ive been trying to cope, but i still cant forget what i saw. My friends and my new phsyciatrist (mom made me) are helping me out alot and i started going to a church every thursday for Epic (a really cool teen thing for highschools in California). Ive only gone twice (the night i found him and last week) but i really hope i can keep going.
Today i am leaving for camp. Im going to be a counselor at a camp for 5th graders. Its called out door education, its a way to teach the kids a lot about mother nature and the beauty of california that they wouldnt recognize unless they were shown. And i went to the very same camp with my school when i was in 5th grade. I loved it so much, i still have vivid memories and i even remember that i cried the last morning there because i didnt want to go home.
Im still working, but i dont know if im working that much lomger, we have a new manager who doesnt like me and watches me like a hawk. Not that i do anything wrong, but she has complained about me a few times. So, we will see how that goes.
I havent been writing at all latley, i seem to have run out. I do have 2 new poems i wrote a week ago to let all my feelings out but thats it.
Well i have to be going. Have a wonderful day!
Love Always,
~Leah

Leah06 wrote:I know I am not supposed to come back to the forum, but i have gotten many e-mails questioning my exsisance.

hmm and why not???????


Sorry to hear about your families loss. But sounds like you have been staying busy and that always seems to be a good thing when grieving the loss.

You always have friends here and are welcome back anytime.....

-Becky

Welcome back Leah.. I've missed ya

I know things aren't the same between us, but I still care about ya, and still want you back on the forum with us, no-one banned you, you just left. We still want you here, I still want you here.

Hi everyone. I guess i will keep you updated on my life. Camp was (in one word) Magicle. I had 16 5th graders (10 yr olds) in one cabin. Usually each counselor has 10, but i was blessed with 16 beautiful young ladies. I was asked to have 2 groups of girls and have us all share one cabin. 8 of the girls were the Leatherback Sea Turtles, and the other 8 were the Hawson Hawks. i NEVER had a problem with any of them. I dont think i would have had such a wonderful time without thease girls. This past week, we have been hiking up huge hills, going on picnics, kissing bannana slugs, singing crazy songs, and going on amazing adventures. All the stress and all of the crap i had been going through dissolved in just a day with thease young ladies. it felt so weird for me to be this huge role modle to a bunch of girls when they didnt even know me. Every time id talk to them, it felt like they were trying to soak up everything i said or did, the way i dressed, how i talked, what i read, the way i laughed, i mean everything. And slowly i noticed that i was leaving footprints for them to follow in. No matter how much i had effected them, it would never measure up to everything they have done for me.
I am now back to being myself, im sleeping (FINNALY), i can laugh and smile again, i can even close my eyes without picturing the images of the past few weeks. I have become myself and so much more and it is all because of thease little rays of sunshine that i got to live with for just 5 days.
This week, i have done things that i would probly never have done on any other occastion. I wrote a rap song about bananna slugs and sang it as a rap in front of the 300 campers, councelors, teachers, naturalists, and parents. I dressed up funky and used weird makeup colors to put on my face for the boogie, and i danced in front of everyone, the crazy dances we were taught. I can actually take a complement to heart and feel like it was real. thease things seem petty but to me, they mean the world.
Sadly, today was when we headed home. We learned a new song, and it made all of the counselors (even the big macho guys) to tear up. All the kids were crying when they graduated, and the teachers couldnt help but take more pictures. When it was time to say goodbye, all of the counselors lined up and made a tunnel with our arms and hands and had all the campers walk under. Our arms were sore from holding them up for a half an hour because each kid was teary and huging their own councelors not wanting to leave them. I was sobbing when all my girls came up to me crying because they didnt want to go home, and we huddled up as we said our goodbyes. When i got home today, bummed and missing the forest/camping life i was unpacking and found a huge envolope in my suitcase. in it were letters from all 16 of my girls saying how much they were going to miss me and how much they loved me as a counselor and what they learned from me. I thought the water works was over, but by the end of the 1st letter, my tears were coming down my face again.
I would have never thought that my life and the way i look at things in life would change so drastically from thease little girls. when i went to the football game to preform for band, i realized how superficial high school is. How all the things that seem so important to teens thease days, mean absolutly nothing in the real world.
I dont think i have ever been so high in life than i was today. Sadly, i was also kicked out of band tonight. My band director was being hearless and didnt realize what i had to go through to go to ENH and what it ment to me. He thinks i went behind his back to go to ENH and that i disresoected him by going and that me going to ENH was like saying i dont care about band. So he told me to find another class to take when i get back to school. Im not ven going to argue with him, nothing he can say or do can make me regret what i did this last week. Good thing i have learned to become a fighter, im not giving up on music, and i will fight for what i believe is right.
Im really tierd, ive been up since 3 am and it is 10:30pm. I have tons of home work to do before tuesday when we go back to school, and my grades need to stay up till report cards arrive. Hope you all are having a fantastic life. Later Days!
~Leah

Well, i dont have much to update on but here is what is "exciting" right now for me.

Apparently im still in band, yet he keeps telling my im kicked out. Doesnt make much sense but i just avoid talking to him. Hopefully he will cool down and leave me alone soon.
My mom is having a baby on December 3rd. I got to name him too! it is Zachary Ryan. he will have a different last name as me but i have loved that name since i was little. and i might not be having kids so my mom let me name this one. And he is due 2 days after my birthday, December 1st. Also, one of my older friends is having a baby girl, and they are naming her after me. Isnt that so cool!?
I am still feeling great since camp. i miss it dearly and i hope to go back again in december or april or maby even both. depending on my grades of corse.
I dont have much else to share so i guess i will keep this one short. Have a great day!

~Leah

Sounds like a pretty exciting month for you coming up.. babies everywhere and the possibility of getting to have another camp adventure sounds good too. Good luck on the grade thing...Or should I say good skill..

This is sort of like a mini Leah Blog hehe..

Yea it kinda is.... Anyways, its been awhile since i have updated this thingy so here is what is new with me. I am learning how to drive a stick shift, i am practicing as much as possible because my test is on December 14th at 11:15 am. I am taking my test in an automatic but the car i will be driving when i get my licence is a stick. An i am terrified that i am going to fail. Lets hope not... i need the freedom! Band season is about over, this saturday is our last competition in california untill march. Thanksgiving brake is coming up, and im going on a road trip with my grandpa to check out one of the schools i am interested in for college. Humbolt State University, its way up in northern california. Its practically in the middle of nowhere, its right next to the ocean and surrounded by forrest (my favorate landscapes!). its going to be a long drive, but its my number one in state choice. i really hope i like it. This school year has been going by really fast, all my relatives and teachers keep asking me about college and what i am going to major in, and it seems so far away to even be thinking about but i know now is the time to start looking around.
Other than school stuff, i got a new cell phone, which is awsome, free min. between the hours of 7pm and 5am with anyone in california who has AT&T or Cingular Wierless (ver useful). I have already put this to good use (i have a few friends with skitsophrinia... i dont believe i spelled that right.. oh well) and they call my cell when they cant sleep "Leah, im bored and i cant sleep want to talk?"-3am. Other exciting things for me has been that I am able to write again. ive written 2 or 3 poems so far this week. which is a huge step for me. the poems arnt that great but im just glad i am able to write again. I am applying to be a team leader at work, huge responsibility! I am turning in my resume, cover letter, and application in tomorrow when i go in to work (5-12:15 am ugh!). And im nervous. Eventhough all my managers like me, im still scarred i wont get the position.
Well, i know my life is a bit borng so i will stop writing now, if you read to the end, thanks for caring. If not, i still love you! Hope to hear from you all soon, PM me any time!

Love Always,
Leah Kendall

I love a stick shift I have pretty much always driven them once I learned. They are a pain in traffic back ups and in towns where there is a light or stop sign every corner but it is still fun. Good luck with learning it.

Hope your college is everything you hope it is.

Ah don't worry its not totally boring hehe. I enjoy reading it.

Becky

Well, today in about 2 hours (9:20am) i will be leaving for HSU (Humbolt State University) and im so excited. It is an 8 hour drive but i dont really care, i cant wait! Other exciting news for me DREAMERS REALITY the book is ready for perchasing! YES YES YES! I dont know how many i am getting, but i will definitly be getting one for myself. I cant wait to finally read it. But i am scared of other people reading it too..... reactions and all. Anyways, i have a week off of school, and tons of homework. i already did 1/4th of it last night, but the rest is all projects and papers that i have to do and write. most of it is due when we get back but one of my papers are due the 10th. IM going to try and get all of it done so i have less to do the week we get back. Saturday was our last band competition in california. We are having an actual concert for our families on December 15th and 16th but the next competition we have is in Arizona for the Rose Bowl. Its going to be a tough competiotion. We are marching a long long route and i am playing suza for parade. And then we have 3 possible field show competitions. The Preliminaries, the semi finals, and the finals. Its going to be a huge deal, 27 bands one will be the winner. its a big thing....... well to us band geeks it is.
9 more days till i turn 17! yeah! and 11 more days till i have another little brother. and 22 more days till my licence test. and then its christmas! jeez time is going by faster this year. good thing/bad thing, i dont know. I should probly go finishh packing my stuff for my HSU trip but i wanted to just stop in. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and if i dont talk to you again on Thanksgiving day, then i hope you have a wonderful week!

Love Always,
Leah Kendall