I'm sorry to bother anyone, but I'm seeking help....

[The lost girl]

Princess Moon,

To your very lengthy post, I am a Christian. I, as you, believe in him whole-heartedly. I read the bible and seek answers to my problems there before any other source, but lately... I have found no answers in the holy word. I plea in my prayers for God to help me, for Him to shine some type of light into my life so that I can come out of where I am today, and although I beg, sometimes I think he doesn't quite hear me. I know he's there, I know that all of my faith is in him, but he doesn't appear to be helping me right now and that is why I have turned to others.

Thank you everyone for posting a reply. With every word I can feel the support coming from you all and know it's helping me.

Yours truly,
The Lost Girl

[Princess Moon]

Lost girl, hey, its Princess Moon! Glad to see that you're a full believer in God and that your totally up for asking for His help. Lost Girl, I am very glad that you've come to others for advice and support. Thats actually more than recommended in my book, I so get where your coming from with asking others for advice and such. But if you'll allow me to say so, if you have full faith in God and know what kind of God you serve...then you know that He will answer your prayer. But here's the thing, you're not supposed to be praying to God for an answer and then just See whats gonna happen. No, it doesn't work like that. You see, believing that you serve an almighty God Who is ultimately in control of practically everything this world is-He is the One Who made it after all -then you should full heartedly hold to your faith and say "No, I believe the God I serve is gonna come through for me." Lost girl, I agree, you should get support from others because that helps. But don't forget, it can only help if you've got your foundation set in with God that He's gonna come through for you. And also, its not only about God fighting your battles...its about you too. What does it say in the Word "Without Faith, it is impossible to please God." Right! Well, why don't you put that verse to the test and keep your faith no matter how bad the situation seems. I know I'm sounding a bit preachy, but I'm just working with how the Holy Spirit is telling me right now. Lost girl, if you really believe that you serve a God Who is greater than anything else-even greater than the enemy-then you've got your victory already. But its all about whether you're WILLING to continue fighting the battle in knowing that you're gonna get through this. You've got to tell that devil "No, I do not accept your torture and scheme in hurting me, I rebuke that in the Name of Jesus and I will continue to believe that my God is GREATER than even your plans." Amen, because He IS! Lost girl, I have an uncle who is a pastor. Okay, when a couple of years back when his wife gave birth to twins, the were born premature. And let me tell you, the doctors hit em down with every complication in the book, while the doctors had them on machines, they said that these twins would be mentally retarded, that they would never be able to walk, talk, or live like normal children. And that they would suffer all their lives. And then the doctors asked my uncle, "Please pull the plug on them sir, they'll be suffering and they won't lead normal lives." But even though this situation with my uncle and his two premature newborns was ultimately so down in the rocks that my uncle could have blamed God in asking Why he was in such a situation...after serving Him so long, my uncle held onto his faith and told the doctor "Doctor, do whatever you have to do, but I will not pull the plug on my children. I know the God I serve is bigger than all this, and I know that my God will come through." And the doctor just gave a sympathetic nod to my uncle, not believing what this man was saying. But let me tell you Lost girl, because my uncle had faith in God and didn't give up when the worst had come, those two baby boys-my cousins-are now a little over two years old, and living well. One is still physically unable to walk, but other than that, they're learning to talk and they laugh and play...and not only that-they BOTH even like to lay their hands on people when asked. NOW IS THAT A MIRACLE OR WHAT! lol And my uncle is still holding onto that faith in leaving it all to God no matter how bad it seems. He's believing that one day that one twin WILL walk-even run in the future very soon. But its all about faith, and lost girl, what I'm asking you is...where's yours? Oooh, and girl I've got more miracles in my family that I could share with you, but there's more than enough that I could tell more to glorify how big our God is and Yes, I know that He is Bigger than even YOUR situation. That's how much faith I have in Him! If he could save two premature newborns on their near death and given that they were supposed to be suffering in their alleged illnesses, that God had those boys talking, walkin, and praying to God-yes, two year olds praying to God-than how big could your situation be compared to Him. He is bigger than all of it girl, I can tell you that for sure! I believe the God I serve is bigger than anything we could imagine...but you've got to stop giving in to the enemy so fast and started resisting him in the Name of Jesus. With God all things are possible. But please, give it to Him and know that the weapon you have-The Word(Your Sword)-as well as your faith in Him will get you out of all of this. But only if you truly believe the God you serve is a bigger God than your situation! Amen! Woo!

Okay Girl, thats all I can give you. The rest is up to you and yes, I will continue to pray for not only your situation, but for your faith. Because just because you get advice from people isn't gonna do it with the kind of advesary you got on your back. It all has to come from your faith and from how much you believe that He is in control and that He WILL come through for you. Take Care Lost Girl! I know you'll find my advice to be pretty helpful. The pleasure was all mine to help!

God Bless You Lost Girl,

your Sis In Christ-Princess Moon

P.S. And if you really need some help looking for answers in the Word, try talking to your pastor or someone who is a little more mature in God's Word. They might be able to shed a little more light on your questions than some of us on this forum. TAKE CARE!

[Terrie*]

Hi Lost Girl,
sweetie, sometimes it takes a whole TRIBE to reach one soul, sometimes it takes just ONE person to reach that SPECIAL soul, as a mother i often wondered what life left me , what i had in store, what i was facin' to deal with when i was left as a young widow to raise 2 young children soon to be teenagers, times have changed since i was a young teen, but then i was always an over protected teenager, i was a challenge growin' up yet , never had a chance to get myself into trouble, have no regrets, i wasn't perfect. i just had 6 brothers to look up to, in my real world i was raised by 7 fathers , cain ya imagine havin' to deal with that?, 1 out of the 7 was more lenient, he gave me enough room to make mistakes if i was gonna make any and enough room to allow myself to understand any consequence that may arise and that was my DAD, so yes times have changed , sooo much harder now than before, sometimes the child makes a wiser choice than most parents, my child, it takes a disciplined mind to reach "IN" to your heart and ask for guidance, notice i said reach "IN" and not "OUT" you are not reachin' out, you are reachin' in where your thoughts are, with your hand held out, and many hands and arms reach to you, it won't take a challenging heart to step in and reach IN FURTHER TO TOUCH YOUR HEART..your heart is very reachable. keep the eyes to your heart open my child, your answer is sooo close by..you are not "ALONE" .i'm just another mother who understands , a childs life.. and a childs heart..God Bless you in all of our Prayers..Terrie*
every star in heaven shines and smiles on you!

[Xeracy]

One thing that I will recommend is seeing Fight Club. You said a couple of things that gave me flashbacks backs to that movie. Not to scare you or anything, but you are going to fight this battle for the rest of your life. Don't worry... It's kinda fun and exciting once I stop and think about it. I've been doing a pretty good job at staying sober. I was doing anything and everything though I had my drug of choice. Your not alone considering that there are lot's of us out there... but you are in a sense alone because you have to do it by yourself. You are the only one that can make your own choices. Hang out with people that don't do drugs. It's hella hard, but it's possible. Another problem that I had was with hanging out with people that never did anything like that in their life... I mean... They just don't know. Kick it with people that have been there and done that, but aren't likely to do it again. If they f*** up. That doesn't mean you have to. I don't know you, but I know your stronger than that. Everyones stronger than that and that's why it sounds so cliche. I'm believe in Christ, but I'm not your typical Christian. The way that I see it is Gods not going to do it for you. Your answers definatly will be hard to see. It's going to take a while to get used to the light again. I decided to stop trying to "find" the answers and just started pondering. Now that's something that not many people actually do.

[Your Melody]

Hey Lost Girl,

I can relate to what you're saying, every word of it, except the pill part. I'm 16, around your age, I've tried suicide many times, I wasn't very successful in my attempts though, as you can probably tell, and I still cut myself. When I was 13, I started posting my poems here because I couldn't talk to anyone about my problems. I was unhappy and for a good part of those next 2 years, I spent my life trying to end it. Then last fall I started cutting myself.

I met a boy right around the time I started first posting here, and he was a horrible influence. LOL . But he taught me so much about life. About what I was trying to end. And it's taken me the better part of 3 years, but I've finally realized, trying to end it isn't worth all this pain and suffering. Hey, if God doesn't want to end it, then maybe I'm still supposed to be here. And if I am, He'll show me why.

The boy who changed my life was in a car accident July 3rd, 2005 . And he didn't make it. Seeing his family and friends in tears, as I was, sent me back to reality. God gave me the answers I wanted, needed. It's just too bad it took the death of a friend to get me to think straight. This boy, was heavily into drugs when I met him, and sufferely screwed up in the head. But he changed. And that's when He showed me why He kept me here. To teach me that help can come from the most unlikely places. And that everyone can get better.

I'm a pretty screwed up little girl. But still every day, I can get up and smile, and think, "Today's going to be a great day." Because being alive, is a way better choice than the alternative. Don't give in to your problems. Give your problems a little attitude, a little sass...fight. Not to end your life, but to save it.

Always,
--Your Melody--Nicole--