One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''
JOKES or FUNNY STORIES
by bingholic98 » Thu Dec 12, 2002 12:28 pm
the only dirty joke I know A cow fell into a mud puddle, now a clean joke. The cow had a bath. 
oh brother 
oh brother -
bingholic98 - Posts: 124
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by Dreamer » Thu Dec 12, 2002 1:17 pm
LOL I always heard it was a little boy that did that...
BTW How does everyone like the quick reply feature that vampi added for me?
BTW How does everyone like the quick reply feature that vampi added for me?
"I can't be in your shoes, But I can be by your side.. and hold your hand in friendship."
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
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Dreamer - Site Admin
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by Rosanne » Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:09 pm
OK, now for a joke that's actually funny...
Three guys are exploring in the wilds of Africa and they get caught by headhunters. The cannibal chief tells them that they will be spared if they can each complete certain tasks. The first task set before them is to go out into the forest and bring back ten pieces of fruit. All three set off on their own to do this.
The first guy gets back and shows the chief ten apples. The chief says, "Fine, fine, but the next part of the test may not be so easy. Next you have to shove every last one of those apples up your butt without any change in expression whatsoever. If you can do that, you live. If you make the slightest face, you die." So the guy manages to get one apple up there, but on the second, he winces, and they kill him.
The second guy gets back with ten berries. The chief explains the task, and he gets the first nine up there with surprising success, but on the tenth and last berry, he suddenly gets a fit of giggles and the headhunters kill him.
So he gets up to Heaven, where the first guy is waiting for him. "Dude," says the first guy. "What happened? You were doing great!" The second guy says, "Yeah, but then I looked out in the woods and there was the third guy coming back with an armload of pineapples."
Three guys are exploring in the wilds of Africa and they get caught by headhunters. The cannibal chief tells them that they will be spared if they can each complete certain tasks. The first task set before them is to go out into the forest and bring back ten pieces of fruit. All three set off on their own to do this.
The first guy gets back and shows the chief ten apples. The chief says, "Fine, fine, but the next part of the test may not be so easy. Next you have to shove every last one of those apples up your butt without any change in expression whatsoever. If you can do that, you live. If you make the slightest face, you die." So the guy manages to get one apple up there, but on the second, he winces, and they kill him.
The second guy gets back with ten berries. The chief explains the task, and he gets the first nine up there with surprising success, but on the tenth and last berry, he suddenly gets a fit of giggles and the headhunters kill him.
So he gets up to Heaven, where the first guy is waiting for him. "Dude," says the first guy. "What happened? You were doing great!" The second guy says, "Yeah, but then I looked out in the woods and there was the third guy coming back with an armload of pineapples."
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by bingholic98 » Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:01 pm
well it probably was a liitle boy dreamer But can't have everything humour and intelligence 
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bingholic98 - Posts: 124
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by Luc » Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:10 pm
i heard that one before it's funny. k heres another oneone day there was a leprechaun. he lived in the woods all alone ever in his life seeing another creature.
then one day while walking in the woods he sees a big bear chasing a small rabbit. so he stops them saying' hey your the very first creatures i've ever seen in this place. and for that i'll grant you each three wishes.' the rabbit and the bear looked at each other and said ok.
the leprechaun asked the bear' what would your first wish be...' the bear said. ' i want all the bears in this forest except for me to be female' 'done' the leprechaun said.
then he turned to the rabbit. ' and you ?" 'a really fast motorcycle' the rabbit said. 'done' and out form mid air popped out a motorcycle and so the rabbit hopped on it.
'and you second wish' the leprechaun asked the bear. 'i wish that all the bears in the next forest were females.' the bear replied. with the wave of the leprechaun and he said done. then he looked back towards the rabbit your second one?' 'a good set of gloves and a crash test helmet' 'very well' and there on the motorcylce sat a pair of gloves and a helmet.
and your last one bear?' he asked. the bear thought then said ' i want all the bears in the world except for me to be female.' the leprechaun nodded and said done.
'and yours?' he asked the rabbit. the rabbit hopped on his bike started it and put the gloves and helmet on. then said nodding towards the bear. 'i want him to be a female'
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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by Capricorn » Thu Dec 12, 2002 8:07 pm
This topic is getting good Glad to see Luc and Rosanne have joined in. Here's one my son's just told me
Three men were given a chance to go on the Magic Slide. They were told that as they were sliding down, if they shouted out what they really wished for they would land in it at the bottom.
The first man went down and shouted`Lots of money' and landed in a fortune!
The second man went down and shouted`beautiful sexy women' and landed in a harem.
The third man, remembering his child hood, started going down and got carried away shouting `Weeeee' and he landed in...............Oh dear!
Glad to see Luc and Rosanne have joined in. Here's one my son's just told me
Three men were given a chance to go on the Magic Slide. They were told that as they were sliding down, if they shouted out what they really wished for they would land in it at the bottom.
The first man went down and shouted`Lots of money' and landed in a fortune!
The second man went down and shouted`beautiful sexy women' and landed in a harem.
The third man, remembering his child hood, started going down and got carried away shouting `Weeeee' and he landed in...............Oh dear!
Laughter is better than any medicine the doctor can prescribe.
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Capricorn - Posts: 115
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))by Capricorn » Sat Dec 14, 2002 8:19 pm
Important dog training tip 
Use of a rolled up newspaper
If your dog chews up something it shouldn't have, then take a rolled up newspaper and hit yourself on the head several times saying
`I fogot to watch my dog' `I forgot to watch my dog'
If your dog laughs at you, praise him and give him a `doggy choc'
Use of a rolled up newspaper
If your dog chews up something it shouldn't have, then take a rolled up newspaper and hit yourself on the head several times saying
`I fogot to watch my dog' `I forgot to watch my dog'
If your dog laughs at you, praise him and give him a `doggy choc'
Laughter is better than any medicine the doctor can prescribe.
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Capricorn - Posts: 115
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- Location: U.K.
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