No Way I Could Stay by RainFlyer8

Can’t take it anymore
Just wanna Scream
I’m not as content
As I seem
I die on the inside
I die everyday
I close my eyes
And wish the pain away
But it doesn’t work
Not for me
The pain won’t leave
Won’t let me be
It hurts like hell
When my heart dies
Hurts like hell
When my soul cries
So I make me bleed
Physical bliss
The blood running
A crimson kiss
Wear long sleeves
Smile wide
Can’t let them know
I’ve got to hide
Wear tons of make-up
And Jewelry Galore
Gotta hide it
Gotta ignore
The Pain I feel
When I’m at school
The pain I feel
That is so cruel
Can’t get help
Cause then they’ll know
I don’t get help
And the pain just grows
Inside me
Black and deep
Deep down there
I know what creeps
I know its evil
I know its sick
I know I fear it
It’s sadistic
It hurts me bad
I can’t fight it
It burns like fire
And I ignite it
It’s not my fault
I wanna scream
But I know it is
And I can’t lean
On anyone else
For support
Its all for me
A black retort
But I’m losing the battle
I can’t go on
So popular at school
But not for long
Yes, I’ll be remembered
Yes I’ll be missed
But I can’t do it anymore
I long for death’s kiss
I know it’s not right
I know it’s not fair
I shouldn’t leave me friends
But the strength isn’t there
To keep going on
I just cannot do
I’m sorry, you know I am
But I cant live for you
It’s the coward’s way out
But I’m not brave
I am nothing
But Pain’s slave
I hate myself
And I hate you
But it’s not my fault
I can’t make it through
The fear anymore
Of people finding out
I cry to myself
And inside I shout
My fingers are slipping
I can’t hold on
I’m going to let go
My resistance is gone
So I let go
I won’t say goodbye
So I don’t have to see you
I can’t watch you cry
Cause then I know
That I’d have to stay
You have to let go
I must break away
Don’t be selfish
Don’t ask me to stop
I have to go
I’m not requesting a lot
You just don’t know
The agony I’m in
I want it to stop
Is that a sin
If you don’t believe me
I’ll show you my wrist
Death is calling
And I can’t resist
I live in eternal hell
An eternal nightmare
You can’t expect me to stay
That is just unfair
It’s time for me to go
You know that it’s true
I love you but
I won’t stay for you
I kiss you goodbye
One last time
Its time to leave
And finish this rhyme
I tell you I love you
But now I see
Because I’m leaving
You hate me
And I’m sorry
But I have no choice
I’ve lost my sight
I can’t hear my voice
I walk to my mom’s room
Glad she’s never home
I will die silently
I’ll die alone
Pick up the sleeping pills
She takes everyday
I look at the pills
That will take my pain away
I take the whole bottle
And go to the bathroom
It may not be enough
I cannot assume
I undress silently
Fold my clothes on the chair
I pick up a scissors
And chop off all my hair
Once I am satisfied
I climb in the tub
I turn on the water
I realize I’m numb
Stick in the plug
It’s time to die
I lean my head back
Puzzled as I cry
Why am I sad
I’m finally leaving
But there’s a pain in my heart
And I don’t know why I’m receiving
It as I go
The pain as I fly
I thought I would be
Relieved to die
The water rises
Up to my chin
And you have no idea
The pain that I’m in
Its just gotten worse
I feel no bliss
But it’s to late now
I’ve been reduced to this
The water comes up to my nose
And I can’t move
I’m finally leaving
Nothing left to prove
You can’t save me now
And I don’t want you to
It’s time for me to go
Remember I love you
The water is level with my eyes
I can’t breathe
And my heart cries
I’m suffocating, can’t hear a sound
I still can’t move
I’m numb inside and out
Even if I wanted to save myself
I don’t have enough to even shout
Here I go am I ready
My eyes are shutting
Nice and steady
My senses are dying
And so is my soul
My soul is crying
And its taking a toll
On my friends
I can hear there screams
But I’m fading
Its as easy as it seems
It’s time to fall
Time to go
I’m leaving now
And you’ll never know
Why I left
What went on
Why I was singing
The silent pain song
But it doesn’t matter
I’m sorry for your pain
But if you were attentive
It should have been plain
In sight for all to see
When you die I’ll see you
But you have to stay
But that’s something I can’t do
No Goodbye note
No somber words
Just a song
That’s never heard
No more air
I’m finally gone
But now I realize
That I was wrong
I should have written
Told you goodbye
But there’s no energy left
For me to cry
So remember I love you
Remember I care
Remember my suffering
That I couldn’t be there
The blackness is here
I hear death’s cry
So I’m walking
It’s time to die
I love you a lot
But its time for it to end
But you must remember
You must know
You were the only reason
I kept holding on
Till now

We dont like to think about it. We don't want it to be true. But we know it is. Sometimes love can't conquer all, sometimes no matter what we just have to let go.

tzuhsi (68.117.179.185) -- Saturday, June 11 2005, 04:22 pm

nice
wow this was wonderful. i liked it a lot

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