You can never understand the pain I keep inside,
because you've never been there, you never want to hide.
You are on the outside with all the happy people,
yet I am on the inside, where lives- they are so feeble.
You could never comprehend why I choose to cut,
because you've never been there and felt it was a must.
You've never had to lock your feelings in the deepest of your soul,
So that no one looks at you differently, so they will never know.
At night you sleep like a baby, but for a person that's like me,
I lie awake asking myself, why does no one see,
that I'm always on the verge of tears, I always want to cry,
and how they don't know my obvious secret, how I want to die.
You call me a psycho and tell them to lock me up,
but I'm not crazy at all, I'm lost, alone, and hurt.
If you would actually listen, and quit being quick to judge,
you'd see my life is amazingly bad, and this is more than just a grudge.
I can see in your eyes how you show me all the fake sympathy,
you just want to get this over, you really want to leave.
You tell me life is better than this, that it's all just in my head,
well honostly it could be better, when I wake up dead.
You decide to prescribe me medicine, but wait that could be bad,
because I could take them all at one time, and make everything sad.
You say that whatever's going on I can make it through with help,
well I asked for help long ago, now I have no options left.
You say you'd like to meet with me again on nextweeks' Tuesday,
well that might be a problem, because then I'll have nothing to say,
If I'm not in the hospital by then because my suicide went wrong,
then I'll be laying the ground, singing my first happy song.

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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