I’m starting to believe
I won’t make it through the night
No matter how hard I try
I won’t achieve this plight
I tried to stop myself
I got help for this previously
But it crawled back into my life
Because pain moves deviously
Stand before my reflection
My eyes staring back through the glass
They look so gaunt and lifeless
Gone from golden to rusty brass
I’ve never been able to be perfect
Never what other’s expected of me
But when I look into my own eyes
They have no idea what I see
Deep inside I see sorrow
I can look into my own soul
I know my heart can’t be broken
Because it was never completely whole
I’ve run away so many times
I have already lost count
But where ever I run to
Misery has been all I’ve found
I always turn to the bottle
To make me forget my pain
But when I wake up in the morning
I think that I’m insane
Never know where I’ll end up
In my bed or a park bench
Always coated in my own vomit
And vomiting again at the stench
I feel so weak and helpless
I know I can never be fixed
Although I know I shouldn’t
I have to scratch that itch
I quit school a while ago
So I’ll walk home and take a bath
I just could get science, reading
Not history or math
Because I was always too drunk
To know what’s going on
And I got caught, Couldn’t keep
The charade up for long
I know I’m pathetic
But what can I do
You don’t even realize
It’s all because of you
Why’d you leave me
Broken on the floor
A little glue would’ve fixed me
I could have been restored
But you left me
And went straight to her
You didn’t see paste her trickery
You ate up her seductive purr
You just don’t get it
She's using you to get to me
You’ve got perfect vision
But you’re as blind as could be
Don’t wanna die
Don’t wanna be here
I can’t kill myself
Pain is what I fear
I’m powerless
I lie broken on my floor
I can’t get over you
Don’t want to anymore
Why’d you have to do this
What did I ever do
Only crime I committed
Was completely loving you
Will you ever come back to me
Will I let you back into my life
Now that I think about it
My friends were always right
They told me not to date you
And because the slum I’m in
They don’t talk to me anymore
But they don’t know where I’ve been
Remember I can see my soul in my eyes
When I’m forced to look at myself
You have no idea how much
I want to be someone else
It’s all because of you
And that bitch you left me for
But I have a resolution
I’m not afraid anymore
I wake up early Friday
And make myself look just right
Can’t wait to get to school
Can’t wait to achieve this plight
You have first hour with the seductress
And you sit next to each other
My life is almost other
So I say goodbye to my father and mother
Walk the lonely road to school
And reveal in whets waiting there
Can’t wait to see her scream
Can’t wait to watch you care
Walk down the hall like normal
No one notices I’m out place
And I think the reason
Is the sincere smile on my face
I walk into the classroom
And see you look surprised
I kiss you on the cheek
And see the confusion in your eyes
Then I pull out the gun
I shoot her in the heart
Everyone begins to scream
This is how chaos starts
I smile and say I love you
And then I shoot you
Then I turn the gun on myself
And plant a bullet in my heart too
Good now no one can have you
We’re all gone and the pain has stopped
You couldn’t have just loved me
I hadn’t asked a lot
But you left me ‘cause I was broken
Like I don’t matter anymore
But it was later that
You made it worse than before
You took my best friend as your new girl
And thought nothing would happen to you
Well now you realize that you should have stayed
Because death is the only thing that comes of
A girl’s heart being broken and betrayed
Now I’m finally fixed
I can finally rest
Don’t have to cry anymore
Have the weight off my chest
It’s time to leave completely
And I know you think it’s cruel
But really it’s a complement
Because I just loved you
I loved you so damn much
I killed you, me and her
Well now it’s over
And never will you stir
Feeling like those inside
Never will they surface again
But you never should have
Stolen my two best friends
You and her were my always
You and her were my forever
And now we are forever...
…………………..gone

------- Author's Notes -------

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