Phantom
27 October, 2005
Author: Angel In Tears
(Co-written with Meridian Zuriel)
A kiss that was blown, somehow got lost in the wind
I talk to you often, although some say ghosts are pretend
I go to embrace you, when I find out I’m just hugging air
The person I thought I saw, really wasn’t there
The memory of you comes to me in murmurs, and flashes
The very minute you pop up, that’s when your face passes
First I let out a wail, then a shaky breath
I thought my heart had flat lined and I was close to death
It was the same plague that hollowed out your insides
Like a shrivelled up potato, my bodily fluids nearly dried
Whenever I think of you, it affects me to the extreme
All this leverage at once tends to lower my self-esteem
Ever since you’ve departed this life and entered the next one
I hate to face the reality of it and the past, so I simply run
Your image stays in this head of mine as if it was stamped
I often pray to see you in Heaven before I cut off my night lamp
Your smile, your grin, your eyes, your chin
I would give anything just to feel your skin
You were that likable, lovable, affable, and sociable
Agreeable, pleasurable, enjoyable, and negotiable
Whoever I’m close to either betrays me, leaves the state or city
Winds up dead like you although you were so smart and witty
I still cry on bleak days with the rain drops streaming down my face.
How I wish the dead to be alive
How I wish to see you someday again.
At the same time of the day, I still watch the door for you to enter,
With a smile on your face, to ask me how was my day.
To share each others joy and comfort on the bad.
Here about now, my heart shatters like glass.
And break down in a tantrum, hating and blaming myself for your death.
In memory to all of you loved ones, we write this
I can still hear that raspy, smoke-burnished voice
When death makes its move, you have no other choice
But to yield to it since it’s coming to all of us one day
And I try to fight the tears, but I just let come what may
My sentiments and emotions never listen to me
It’s hard to accept his demise; I wanna say he’s at home sipping coffee
His loss hasn’t fully registered yet; this just can’t be
It’s him in the flesh that I miss, even if I sense his banshee
Despite of the excuses I come up with to not believe the truth
It’s painful and agonizing like the throbbing of a tooth
From the crown of my head to the soles of my feet
Right in the middle of my chest, I can feel the heat
The warning of heartburn, because my heart blazes for you
I’m crazed and amazed at how sudden death seized you
Don’t wanna admit it but I waited too late to say goodbye
The last time I heard of you was the day that you died
You were gone for a while that so much time was lost in between
You were busy, I was busy, and neither of us had time to be seen
Schedules were so hectic and tight until his turned into waves
You were my family, my kin, a fallen soldier in your grave
You’ll be forever remembered for all the love that you gave
We can be so loyal to our jobs that we become our boss’s slaves
My timing is very terrible; I’ve never felt so bowl-shaped
I haven’t allowed sunbeams in for a while; closed, are my drapes
I can’t let the sun bathe me yet, I’m not quite feeling nice
Is this a game of Jumanji? If so, who’s next to roll the dice?
It’s like loved ones are breathing today and dying tomorrow
I need a yacht to navigate on this body of water as a result of all my sorrow
I might as well get my will made at this age and get prepared
Before death draws my name out of a hat while I’m in the middle of an affair
Opposed to lottery’s lucky numbers, it’ll be lucky names
To see which person on the list will be the next dying flame.
------- Author's Notes -------
Just want to thank you, Meri for including me writing this poem. |
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