this poem is about me. i was 14 and in my first year of high school, i hung out with people who were 16,17,& 18 mostly boys i went to the party got drunk smoked until i was really high, next thing you know i was in a room underneath a guy who was about 19, he was drunk and rollin off Ecstacy, i went home and my mom was sleeping and left me a note on my bedroom door that said "i love you and you better be home" i smiled because i had the worst night of my whole life. i didnt get along with my family and i was always going to parties and getting high. i had a lot of problems before that night, i started cutting myself a few months before that night, my dad was never home & had another girl in his life and my mom spent all her time at work and never at home,i always felt unloved and they never really noticed me so i didnt care about them and i thought i hated my mom dad and ,brother whos 2 years older then me, so i went to party drink and smoke, but that night made me so much worst, i still go to parties and still get drunk(just not as much as i did before) i dont trust guys and i think i became a whore, if i went to a party and i was messing with a guy i had sex with him so i didnt have to cry,im now 16 and have had one abortion and had sex with about eight diffrent guys a few times...please dont judge me as being a slut or whatever because i thought if i had sex willing i wouldnt get raped again and my heart wouldnt break.im now in a relationship that ive been in for 9 months it took alot for me to trust him and open up to him, he goes to my school and is 18. hes been the only guy to ever treat me right, he is the only person who i have ever told about that night cept for my bestfriend who i told a few months later, i go to classes about drugs and drinking, i have a counsler to talk about the rape, its helped alot and its been really hard for me,my boyfriend was there for me 100%, if i had a bad day he
would spend the night with me and at the time it was alot of bad days my mom likes my boyfrend and i can sleep at his house or he can sleep at mine, but ive been really good for awhile and if it wasnt for my boyfriend i dont think id be fine. he knew the guy who did that to me he did beat him up after i told him, my boyfriend and him were bestfriends when they were really little. this is my story about what happens to girls when they go out and party, drink and do drugs, i started alittle to young, but i dont regret going to that party,i think everything happens for a reason. its really hard to keep that deep inside, tell someone if it happened to you if you dont it will drive you insane. dont trust people at all because trust is just a lie, must of the time. thats my story about a party.