you watch me descend into hell
and you wait for me to come back
this demon, i am
this demon, i try to erase
make disappear
but even with it inside of me
i still bleed you
i bleed us
only beyond the blood
there is a chain
attached to sick lust
i am sick with lust
i am sick with pain
with grief
with sorrow
is this what love is like
is this what love feels like
why do i feel infected with you
like you run through my veins
like this very blood i bleed
like death will come upon
the disappearance of you,
upon the disappearance
of you in my life
my life will shatter
into nothing
my life is nothing
without you in it
you give me life
these tears drip drop
drip drop upon my eyes
and leave us behind
i smoke and indulge
in who we are
and what we have become
i think of the years
and the 50,000 tears
ive cried over you
i think of everything
about you and i smile and
then cry again and then stop
and then miss you like
i cant control it
like i cant be
this monster i am
a monster
you see this because
you know me so well
and i am not afraid
to show you this
because you already know the kind
of person you're dealing with
i would slaughter myself ten times
before i let you go
so much pain, i live in
so much pain without you.

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