Soliloquy
6 August, 2006
author: Rebecca Ditch-Hammack (aka Dreamer)

I stand here in soliloquy
Caught up in my thoughts and yearnings
Is this who I truly am.
Or just what I want others to see
Do they stand in judgment of me
Or find folly in my endless musings;
The cyclings of the mind unwilling to stop spinning

As I stand here I bare all that I am
The darkness that lay beneath the surface-
Of the facade of smiles
The darkness that creeps in only to be seen
As I succumb to the loneliness of my solitary ways

Is it just an insoluble indifference to life
Or is it that I recognize everything in life as indigenous
Do I even fully understand myself at all
Do my endless rambling fall upon deaf ears
Spoken only to the silence that surrounds me

As I stand here, does anyone even realize I am tired
Tired of dealing with the inconsequential deceptions
Am I just being callous to the trials of others
Wishing that they would all go away and leave me be
So that I may bask in the melancholia

As I stand here I wonder if I even know the truth;
That this is all temporary
And that in only a short time I will again emerge
Full of life and energy, again letting the sun shine in my soul
Knowing that the darkness I am speaking of
Is truly a fallacy; a poet's yearning to write
Playing within the deceptions of a memory
One that remains embedded in the cobwebbed corners of my mind

As I stand here in soliloquy
I hope I am forgiven my teasing
For as fast as the macabre thoughts have appeared
In a wisp of a moment they will again, be gone
Lifted like morning fog; in the mist of a departing dream

And the poet's job will be done

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