Innocence, Lost And Found
4 March, 2007
Author: Bipedalguy
They walked together, hand in hand.
The time was right for what they’d planned.
Though they hoped it would be fun,
they knew that soon they’d be as one.
They’d left unnoticed after school.
No one knew, so it was cool.
What matter fair or stormy weather.
Tonight they’d finally sleep together.
Their chosen place was far too high
to be seen by passers by,
on the top of “Outlook Hill”
just to the west of ”Bishop’s Mill”.
The quest so new to this young pair
revealed great beauty everywhere.
They knew to where this long path led,
and at its end would be their bed.
They had passed through Bishop’s Mill,
and started climbing Outlook Hill.
Could nature’s beauty at its best
be seen only by lovers blessed?
It was exciting to climb toward
that lofty place where dreams were stored.
With racing hearts they neared the top
of the hill where they would stop.
At the top they looked around.
They were enthralled, the view profound.
Then with evening’s dimming light,
the fog below obscured their sight.
In a goose down bag for two,
protected from the foggy dew,
they fell asleep while holding tight,
and that’s the end. They slept all night.
As for this tale, I must concede
it never says they did the deed,
but don’t you think that they were blessed
by what they learned on their love quest?
It’s a truth some won’t discover,
but should be known to every lover,
and those who’ve been most anywhere,
“Life’s greatest joy’s in getting there.”
------- Author's Notes -------
I think this is my first poem using this rhyming style. |
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Comments on this poem/writing:
| barb (67.58.207.21) -- Sunday, March 4 2007, 06:47 pm I liked the way their love didn't have to be physical ,a true love of mind and body. holding each other is special. Your writing of this is excellent and perceptive thanks for a nice read. |
| Meridian (151.199.134.18) -- Monday, March 5 2007, 06:37 am Especially, when you said, "it never says they did the did"...so they kept it holy huh? All in all, great story. You and other male writers on this site remind me of my dad. You all are great story-tellers. You set up the view. You create the actors. And you tell it so that the reader will want to read more. Bipe, I enjoyed this sir! |
| Meri (151.199.134.18) -- Monday, March 5 2007, 06:38 am I meant did the deed |
| Catyrose (128.123.85.206) -- Monday, March 5 2007, 06:00 pm Ah! Young love :) Ditto to Barb and Meridian's comments. Great style, wonderful story, great moral. Especially liked the line: “Life’s greatest joy’s in getting there.” |
| Bipedalguy (4.156.51.144) -- Thursday, March 8 2007, 12:19 am Thanks for the encouragement on my first, (I think it's my first), poem of this style. I know it's my longest poem. I wanted to keep the story true to the title i.e. innocent. If nothing else, it's surely that. Thanks, Bipe. |
| Robert (69.239.207.227) -- Thursday, March 8 2007, 01:35 am You had us all the way, and it made it even better not knowing the outcome. That is true poetry. Great job... |
| Terrie* (75.37.63.169) -- Thursday, March 8 2007, 11:08 pm Bipe, this was truly one lovely and innocent read, the importance of touchin' a heart is the far most desirin' effect of innocent contact of respect in a relationship..thank you for sharin' the importance of great quality not lost... |
| Bipedalguy (4.156.144.209) -- Saturday, March 10 2007, 03:57 pm I can't tell you how glad I am that you liked it. The story is derived from my dreams from long ago when I developed a crush on a new girl in my class. Her name is Janice, and we were 13. When we were 14 she moved to England for 2 years. That was in the fifties. She and her husband now have grandchildren and seem to be doing very well. I'm glad. |
| shiloh (66.24.112.118) -- Thursday, November 8 2007, 08:34 am with the same value of growing up in the 50s and 60s, when everything was portrayed on tv as being perfect, and our ambitions tried to match our dreams, this poem goes a long way to show how reality could be nearly perfect as well... being together was as valuable, actually more so, than the original plans. totally beautiful work here, bipedalguy. thanks. |
| Bipedalguy (75.67.182.104) -- Friday, November 9 2007, 12:49 am I really appreciate your great comments. They were the innocent years, (the 50's and early 60's). |
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