****WARNING!! : Explicit Situations****


Walking down the driveway what do I see?
A little black bird staring back at me.
The tiny little bird lay helpless on the ground.
A vulnerable creature lay unaided. An innocence I have found.
I picked up the little back bird, I am his Saviour. Yes I am.
My parents were drunk, so I took solace in some strange man.
I came to him with the assumption he would help. He was kind to me
I looked deep in to his eyes, I just saw a man. I saw no price, I saw no fee.
“Go and get some bread, maybe a little water too.
Together we can help him, together me and you.”
I trusted this man who showed me attention.
It was the monster inside of him that he forgot to mention.
I sat on his lap, he bounced me on his knee. He made me smile.
Little did I know in a couple of hours, just a little while,
He would steal my future, steal my 9 year old heart.
Little did I realize that for the rest of my life I would fall apart.
It was late. The kitchen light shone into my room like it was day.
I heard splashing in the pool and laughter from away.
The screen door creaked as it opened,
foot steps I heard. I hid under the doona.
A shadow approached me, a silhouette of a man. I should have known sooner.
“What are you still doing awake. You look weary eyed.”
As he leant towards me my insides screamed. I wish I could have cried.
I smelt beer from his mouth, I could feel his breath as he grew near.
I trembled silently. I was paralyzed by fear.
As he opened my mouth with his, vomit stirred at the back of my throat.
My insides squirmed and my stomach began to bloat.
He stuck in his tongue and moved it around.
I left my body for a second, a weird sensation I had found.
“Tell me my little girl, is what I am doing wrong.”
Why couldn’t I scream yes? Why couldn’t I have been strong?
My saviour, there was a noise. I heard the front door.
As he hid in the bathroom I was left feeling like a whore.
My Daddy was here, surely he’s come to see me.
He just poured himself a drink. He wasn’t about to set me free.
Frozen and afraid. I was too scared to cry.
I prayed and I prayed that it was my time to die.
Click, went to lock. The same familiar shadow lurked above.
Why wasn’t I strong? Why couldn’t I give him a shove?
Instead I curled up my tongue, and sank down into my sheets
I was so fucking scared I could hardly feel my feet.
My arms tucked away tight. I could not escape
I am was molested while my mind was being raped.
He pulled away, he gave me a sickening smile.
What happens now? Would he be back in a while?
Do I just lay here? My safe place? My bed?
Do I tell? Do I Scream? Or do I leave it in my head?
The screen door shut, I could not sleep.
I gathered my self and arose to me feet.
I pushed my face hard against the door,
I wasn’t gona let this dirty man hurt me no more.
“Mum” I screamed, She yelled back “You come here”
I close my eyes, I produced a tear.
With all of my might I screamed “I can not”
Please mummy come help me, I feel hot.
Mum come charging through the door and was about to yell.
I broke down. I was in hell.
She asked me what was wrong, it was hard to say.
I told him about the man, and how he treated me this way.
She said nothing, I got not even a goodnight kiss.
Good by innocence, my childhood I’ll miss.
She told my uncle, not my Dad.
He came I my room a towel is all he had.
He asked me again, and again I told.
The story said twice, it was stating to get old.
I waited to hear sirens, the police would take him away.
That was 17 years ago and I’m still waiting for that day.

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