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And I Was Whole
10 September, 2007
Author: L'Rathi

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I met myself at the oceans side; mother, maiden, and crone. As the salty air blew through my hair we were reunited again. Made whole for the first time in living memory.

Chained to the wall of the dungeon of mind, she wept. Bloodstained hands clawing at the old wounds hidden beneath her back garb, she cried for what was never to be. Strikingly green eyes filled with bitter memories as she whimpered. Dirty pale skin convulsed with pain. And she was gone again, lost amid the swirling chaos of memory.

Pregnant belly swathed in sheer white. She was stretched out on the green, green grass of home. The rustling of the trees leaves seemed like a familiar dream as she lifted her eyes to watch the roots of her house descend into the ground. With a sigh, she let herself sink into the soft, soft grass, her pale hands on her swollen womb.

The repetition of her high heels seemed a familiar friend as she paced the rain covered sidewalk. The gray of the city reflected the green of her eyes as she walked, manicured nails and high class boots flashing in the melancholy light. A drop of rain fell through the hazy city air, and for a second, a scene of tortured emotion seemed to echo within the luminescent walls within. But it fell, nothing but a drop of water to splash on the sidewalk below.

At first she thought her prison was leaking. A drop of water splashed onto her forehead, refreshing and cool. Tear stained eyes lifted to the dingy ceiling, only to see a brilliant expanse of blue, a canvas of color unlike anything that had been seen in years. A faint swirl of remembrance stirred deep within her mind. Deep wood stairs spiraled into the heavens. Hesitantly, she reached to touch them. And suddenly, she was free, the chains that had kept her captive dissolving into nothing as she stepped forward. With a new manner of composure, she started up the stairs, black dress sliding along behind her like a discarded memory.

A drop of crystal clear water fell onto her shoulder, sliding down her arm and onto her belly. Something New was happening. She lifted her trembling eyes upward, to the familiar sight of the inky black sky. But breaking through the silhouette of the moon’s impassive face, was a spiraling staircase. With trepidation, she stood, following the fluid motion of the staircase with her naive eyes. And then her bare feet followed, one hand still on her precious burden.

The rain began again, drowning out even the faintest glimmer of color the city might have had to offer. All was grey. But suddenly, a stalk of brown shot through the metal, reaching up into the weeping sky. She watched the staircase’s spiraling journey into the sky, her heart rising along with it. Kicking off her expensive shoes, she started up, green eyes sparkling with the unknown.

A door. Three porcelain hands hesitantly resting on the cool doorknob. Then as one, they tightened their grip, eyes full of resolve, and threw it open.

A huge expanse of color, motion, and emotion, the tireless face of the sea greeted them with her tears. The bottomless sky arched over their heads in the most pure sentiment of life imaginable. Deep breaths of the air and they could feel the healing begin, as they turned to reunite with their lost counterparts. Exclamations of love, as they all remembered what is was like to remember, to change, to live life once again. And they were whole.

I met myself at the ocean’s side; mother, maiden, and crone. And I was whole.

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