I remember standing there in a world so cold
When everything was going wrong and I felt old
I was living in my old town when I got a letter
From my best friend but it didn't make me feel better
He described a situation when he went outside
Took his cousin to the Dairy Queen as he did with pride
In route he was jumped and they broke his back
Just to steal his wallet, what a f*cked up attack

Later in his life he got more depressed
He would never stand again, get it off your chest
One day he finally gave up and ended his life
He died at seventeen never having a wife
Another week had passed and I couldn't speak
My grandpa died of cancer, he became too weak
The pressure's building up I'm bout to die inside
It was the first time I remember that I broke down and cried

My oldest dog was next though he lived a good life
At least he got to escape from all the bullsh*t and strife
Then a mutual friend, man she got so depressed
Because of the suicide that started this mess
So she got in her car and she drove off a ledge
I will not forget you it's this much I pledge
But I'm hurting so badly, I'm falling so low
I ODed on pain pills but life wouldn't let go

I moved in with my girlfriend but I feel alone
It seems nothing I can do can ever atone
For the things that I've lived and the things that I've seen
You wouldn't believe it, I'll never feel clean
On Christmas Eve, my girlfriend kicked me out
My brain is clouded and scattered, I'm trapped in this doubt
Out in the cold, the tears froze to my face
I hope that I die and wake in the perfect place

Please god just take me, I'm tired, I'm lazy
It's too much to bear and it's driving me crazy
You don't answer prayers, you don't give a sh*t
So just why should I try and just why can't I quit?
Man it's f*cking me up but I don't have a choice
And you're keeping me down so I don't have a voice
The nightmare of life, man it needs to be spoken
I know it was used to make sure I was broken

Tweet

Comments on this poem/writing:

Click here to read other Poems by Seizure

Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: All Rights Reserved.   No part of this website, including all pictures and written words,  may be reproduced or copied in any manner from this website without  permission of the original author of the work.  All poetry and pictures herein remain the sole property of the original author and/or copyright owner.  All poetry on this website has been submitted by the original author of the work. To contact any author of the work please e-mail: dreamer@dreamersreality.com  so the proper person may be notified.