The Business Card by Shiloh

Now that I'm retired,
(yeah, right.. heh-heh-heh...)
I think that I should have a card --
a business card --
something that I could hand out
to show that I am a man of many talents
and that would advertise my experiences
so that others might see this person before them,
and be amazed, and possibly amused,
and maybe even look at me in wonder...
yeah, mostly wonder, I guess.

In all my years I have done many things,
and these things should be part of my card --
pardon me -- my business card...
(Please, feel free to offer suggestions or ideas
to my design, as outlined below,
and also feel free to steal any and all of my design
for your own uses, if you want to --
but you must first insure you have a dry sense of humor.)

The card will read thusly:

123 Main Street, Anytown, Anystate, Zip Code, Telephone Number
Past Secretary, Organization Of Vietnam Veterans

STAFF SERGEANT (My first name, then my second name)
Author -- Lecturer -- Traveler -- Bum

PROFESSIONAL -- COMPETENT -- ACCURATE -- CONFIDENTIAL
Bars Emptied -- Riots Started -- Unnatural Acts and Atrocities Committed
Expert Typing -- Light Hauling -- Envelopes Stuffed -- Leases Broken -- Images Enhanced
Cover Stories, Speeches, Rumor & Blatant Lies Written
Sneaky Harassment Techniques and Countermeasures
Mottoes, Slogans & Verses For All Occasions
Approved By Good Housekeeping

Participant -- "Second Place" -- 1966-67 S.E. Asia War Games

(Yep - I kinda like that... What do you think?)

shiloh (66.24.112.118) -- Friday, February 29 2008, 09:48 am

.....
Oh, wow... now that I look at it, I think I coulda worked for Nixon!

Bipedalguy (65.96.237.196) -- Wednesday, March 26 2008, 03:29 pm

I love it.
The title might have been "Generic Business Card" The line: "Unnatural acts and atrocities committed." reminds me of a big sticker that some jokester applied to the side window on my car back in the 70's.
It was made to look like a "license", qualifying me for sexual activity in all of it's forms, both normal and bizzarre". It went on along that theme.
I think I may write a poem based on that. It might get some chuckles.
Bipe

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