I transformed myself into a dark knight of botanical destruction. An anti-paladin against all forms of rampant chorophyl based life! Dawning my gauntlets of grassy green death (+5 mowing), with my faithful war hound at my side, I stormed into the wall of nature's might. I armed myself with my trusty siege engine, a whirling, cutting tornado of razing death.

A most lengthy battle ensued. Time and time I was driven back to my keep, to replenish my flagging strength with beer and tuna fish sandwiches. But alas, I was NOT going to give up.

My hound, my machine, and I dove into the dense jungle of Greg's backyard again and again. Thistle plants poked and jabbed at me like platoons of medieval pikemen. Strangling razor-sharp blackberry vines snared and tangled at my legs, clutching and coiling like voracious spiny octupi! Then things got even more dire! Gaea pulled out all the stops and resorted to biological warfare! Fluffy seed pods and pollen spurted into the air, a thick dense miasma of choking asthmatic horror! My lungs strained and heaved as I fought through with sheer animal willpower. I AM THE MASTER! YOU WILL FALL! DIE DIE DIE!

And then suddenly.....it was over.....and all was quiet......and my lawnm..er, siege engine was out of gas. And I had won.

But the battlefield was strewn with debris, and in need of much raking and restoration. But someday....in the near future.....it will be a monument. A place of beauty. Dedicated to the struggle fought this day. And all shall remember it as they eat hotdogs and hamburgers from my barbecue.