Silence, Isolation, Being alone...
Most days I welcome it
Walking around lost amongst my own thoughts
No need for conversation
No need to explain why, how, or what
No fighting, no disagreements
Not having to think about where he is
What he is doing and with who.
Jealousy, not part of my life
Not when you are alone anyways
Then there are times, like now
Laying in bed awake, restless
Staring at a lifeless phone
Praying, begging for a call, a text,any sign
That someone somewhere is thinking about me.
That someone cares enough to say 'hi'
Even the automatic 'how are you' in quick passing
Without the pause for response is welcomed now.
Depressed, most definitely.
When is it okay to throw away the towel?
To wipe that fake smile away
The one i have gone pro plastering on my face.
Desperation rearing it's ugly head on occasion.
Spending more time connecting with lost souls
Thank finding my own.
Almost throwing away my last bit of innocence
Just to feel wanted, needed, and seen.
Failure
Instead of living a life deserved
She lays in her bed alone
In silence, writing this.
Daring you
To judge her.

------- Author's Notes -------

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