Her hands cradled her face as pain released itself through her eyes. “Why does life throw these curveballs at me…always hitting me at full speed? Throwing me to the ground in tremendous pain and despair…” These thoughts and more circled through her mind, only encouraging the tears.

She tried hiding on the floor, worried if they saw her they’d see her weak. She worried they’d speak to those who didn’t need to know…hell, they didn’t even need to know.

They didn’t need to know she was currently living in a hotel…and that her family had joined her. They didn’t need to know her baby sister with diabetes was moving away and she was freaking out about it. They didn’t need to know she just lost the love of her life…and it wasn’t the man she just recently married and left within a few weeks. They didn’t need to know, but they did.

When weakness struck her heart it affected her entire being. Her mouth spilled words unintended to those undeserving of trust. Her hand hit snooze too many times getting her to work late..and her mind didn’t care. Her eyes searched all day for him…a text, a phone call, a visit. Knowing he’d never satisfy those eager wants again. Her stomach no longer craved food. Her body would collapse-just giving in to the day, the depression. …All because her heart fell weak and shattered.

“I’ve got to stand up” she attempted to encourage herself. “All eyes are on me-my peers, my love…my customers.” And it hit hard, like a train had plowed right through her. “I’ve fallen apart for a man-I’ve become something I’ve never known. I’m so weak…” She was handed tissues, and then more, stood up and hid in the back ashamed of herself and what she’d become.

She feared loving him forever now that there was no longer a forever between them. She feared never holding him again, never hearing “I love you” again. She let fear run her life.

Months later she was greeted by an old coworker “Lindsay! You gained weight, you look great!” A friend who was with her found it strange that she welcomed this remark, which many would consider an insult, with a smile. She went on to explain to him “I gained weight because I’m eating now. I’m eating now because I’m happy. I’m not depressed over love anymore. She knows what my weight gain means and how important it is.”

It took her a long time to let hope fall from its strings. It took her a long time to accept the fact that there was no love in return. Better late than never, I suppose…