|
From as far back as I can remember, being small, not sure of my surroundings, you were there.
I go back in my mind, it's 1986. Dad is getting ready for work, and so are you. He's dropped off the babysitter, and then your off to work. The living room is cold, im always barefoot, and if it wasn't for the heating vent and a blanket, I'd still be awake wondering where you went too. Though I wake up, my eyes widen, and it's 8am, I turn my head to see our babysitter sitting there watching TV and asking me what Id like for breakfast. After I eat I venture off to do whatever it was that excited me back then. Either cartoons, or action figures, or linking logs, All I know is thinking back now, 3 young crazy children and our older babysitter, it's amazing she never had a heart attack.
Though like clock work, lunch would roll around, and I'd start to rock back and forth in a chair or on the couch to something either on TV or a song I'd put on to listen to, and then I'd drift asleep. Next thing I know im waking up, and you were there.
As I started school and went through high school the challenges laid ahead, getting bullied and picked on as every child does at some point in there life, no matter how mad I would get, you would somehow calm me down. Even though at times I would think that I couldn't go to school because of fear of grades or just not wanting to deal with it, you said the right things and got me through it and with what you would say, it kept my head in the right place, and I didn't let it get the best of me, because even when you weren't physically around you were there.
So school was over, at 19, 20, and 21 I thought I knew it all, and I know I made some bad decisions,coming home not in the best condition for one reason or another, though no matter what, no matter how many times I know you wanted to throw something and ask me "what was I thinking!", when I was ready to talk, You were there.
I then moved out, wasn't around as much, and met my 1st "wife", and through the hell of all of that, my stress carried into your life, and even into your home. And though I put you through that, you understood what I was going through, Finally when the divorce was finished you said " though you don't feel this now,someday you'll wake up, and this will all seem as if it were a bad dream", You were right, and always keeping what you said in my head, It truly got me through that rough patch of my life, because again You were there.
I look now at how truly Unselfish you were, though life stresses were being thrown at you every which way from the time I was 13 till about 21, and how you have never dropped the hat, never slipped up, never failed at being a great mother. You have always done what was best for us, always been there back and forth time over time over time. When we needed you the most. Even if there was no money, you went without so we had something. It didnt matter too us and you knew it, though you wanted to make sure we were happy as kids.
Im married again, but this time to my forever "wife" the one I know wasn't a mistake, the one that you told me when you met her made my eyes light up, and turned my world for the better. Whether you know it or not, I've always taken what you've said to heart, one of the biggest things in my life for Melissa and I to work out was that you would have to approve of her, because my entire life, you have been right even when I thought you were wrong, it truly meant a lot to me when I heard how much you liked her when you two met. A bond that a mother and son have, your lucky to have that with 3 sons, we all know how much time and patience you've had with us growing up. Never imagined the day they'd be up and moved and out of school and doing what they can with their lives would come this fast, but.. doesn't mean we wont be there for you.
So its May 7, your anniversary, Grandmas birthday, and a day that has a lot of special meaning to me for a lot of reasons. I hope you and dad are enjoying your dinner out tonight. And I just wanted to let ya know that even to this day, when things are hard on me, wanting to make sure I can take care of Melissa, and for all of the future issues that im sure will lie ahead, I think of how you've been there, because you always were there.
You've raised me well, along with my two brothers, and now it's your turn to relax and enjoy yourself. And know that you have 3 sons that will always be there for you as well just like you were there.
I love you Mom
|
