An Honest Man by Mark Spencer

My girl and I rented a house,
A cottage of our own.
She said: "I have one condition,
And this is set in stone."

"I expect only honesty;
A man, forthright and true."
She warned if I should ever lie,
Our love affair is through.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't;
It's a catch twenty two.
I lose if I don't tell the truth,
And I lose if I do.

One night she baked a casserole,
And asked me what I thought.
I said it tasted terrible!
The truth was what she got.

She once asked if a dress looked good,
But that just caused a spat,
I said, babe that's a pretty dress,
But it makes you look fat.

One Sunday, while watching football,
She got more of the same.
She asked if I'd like to cuddle,
I said...after the game.

When her parents came to visit,
I called her mom a witch.
She claimed that I'm not good enough,
Because I wasn't rich.

Her father was a piece of work,
I guess that's how it goes,
He called me every name he could,
I punched him in the nose.

Once at a karaoke bar,
She butchered Blue Bayou.
She asked me, and I told the truth,
"Singing is not for you."

I hated renting videos,
She'd always rent chick flicks!
And I would fall asleep between
Her nudges and her kicks.

Last night she said she's leaving me,
She met somebody new.
He likes her parents, and the way
She sounds on Blue Bayou.

He says he loves her casserole,
It never makes him sick.
She says he hates the Superbowl,
And loves to watch chick flicks.

So girls if you're looking for love,
I hate to spoil your plan.
The guy you're really looking for,
Is not an honest man.

Megan (166.205.8.215) -- Monday, February 1 2010, 10:22 pm

LMAO!!!
Oh, this is too cute! Ok, so maybe we don't want complete honesty! But then, neither do men! Do they want to hear the honest truth, or do they wanna hear "that was the best sex I've ever had!" Think about it.

Bipedalguy (65.96.239.198) -- Wednesday, February 3 2010, 07:56 pm

A great way to express a fundamental truth.
This poem is excellent. (like all of your writes)
This one makes an important point, which I totally agree with.

It's not easy to be honest without losing the most important person in the world. In most cases this loss comes before the relationship has reached the man and wife stage.
Another fine poem from Mark Spencer.

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