Shaking
Trembling
Don’t want to pick up
The trash can
And eject
The contents of my stomach
Don’t want to sing
Don’t want to make this presentation
They’re looking at me
Their eyes like hard
Bowling balls
No light
No life
Resides in those eyes
Those many eyes
That make me forget what I know
What I studied for
Nervousness
Got my heart running a marathon
Until I sit down
When it calms down
Filling me with anger
My mind shouts
To the emotion
Now why can’t you do that
When I’m standing
When I’m in front of
When I’m…
Ok…
I realize that I’m
Standing in my own way
Can’t blame it on
The emotion all the time
Self-control is what I need
I ball up my fists
As a sign of power
Praying to the
Strong tower
That’s much higher than I
Asking for a release
From prison
From all that I’ve written
All that I’ve prayed for
All that I want
To be delivered from
Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
Need a spotlight
Given by the sun
Or better yet
The Son
To shine on me and take these
Sandbags away
Can’t hold them
On this fragile back
Can you put my train
Back on its tracks
Because the devil
Is trying to attack
Me
For one reason
And one reason
Only
He knows my mindset
How close I’m
Trying to get
To you Jesus
Hold me Jesus
Like a mother’s womb
Holds a fetus
I’ve got to have deliverance
If it be thine will
Anything to free me from
This same windowsill
Where I’m stuck inside
Looking out
Wanna be free
Want something to shout about
You may come early
You may come late
But like Job
I have no choice but to wait
And like David
Praises will
Flow like rivers
Out my mouth
For Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
A name I bless
As I endure the tough
To the diamond
In the rough
I can’t
Pray to You enough

------- Author's Notes -------

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