Old Man by Shiloh

Old man,-
you didn't do me any favors.
You left me without any memories
that I care to remember.
Nothing there in the past, about you,
worth dredging back up to look over.
You were not the stuff of happy times.
Fear. Hate. Anger. Pain. More Fear.
Yeah - you were good at all that.
The times you did talk to me,
you used words that hurt,
words that tore and cut and dug into my mind and soul,
and made me wonder what I had ever done....
but then I remember -
what I had done was to be born.
That was my mistake?
That was my fault?
That was the reason you were the way you were
toward me?
Probably goes a bit deeper than that,
and I understand some of it now that I am older,
but when I was a kid,
hell - I just thought I was some kind of --
....I didn't know what I was,
but it must have been something terrible,
for my father to treat me that way.
I used to go to bed praying that before morning
one of us would die.
Lots of kids like me
would have grown up all sorts of messed up.
I beat the odds.
I beat you.
I didn't follow your example,
and I didn't end up screwed up.
No,
you didn't do me any favors,
other than to set the example
of how not to be when I grew up.
I did all right.

Taylor james (82.132.136.219) -- Thursday, August 11 2011, 06:40 am

:)
You grew up. Realising that you could be different from the example you were given. I admire that. I only hope I'm the same as you! I feel what you are saying.. I understand.. Let this be your way to let it all out!! Great poem! :) x

shiloh (74.67.107.114) -- Tuesday, November 8 2011, 12:22 am

yeah, I did all right....
just ask my three sons. they'll tell you.

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