I love easily
I'm not easy to love

There's a twitch in the blood
Pondering thoughts as barrels of
whiskey fill the lungs
closer to the answer
of how to keep ourselves sane
to look at me
behind this smile lie all of us
the jackal, the lover
the pacemaker
an aristocrat
the beggar

consorted into one
we our an army of petty beings
clawing at each other to become the ruling party
fiendish neurosis only calmed
by the thought of warmth
her warmth
tame the beasts less we grow further feral
I am my own enemy

by her lips
a chance rarely given
there's insight into normalcy
we stand together seeking her favor again
and again
as she exits and fades into the night
not knowing the next encounter we clash once more

we strip our flesh
those spongy ideologies of jenga blocks
attempting to build one being
a man for which love could be possible
but as the walls of Jericho
our doubt screams coarse and all tumbles into nothing
we are left with blackness coal
tainted attempts that render us useless

Oh cupid how I wish you damned
your golden bow striking my heart
knowing my conflicted spirit
you have damned me into this regressive beast
giving my soul to many
only for them to fear me
to turn from me
from us
make me whole
or bring me to a God that can
I'll give whatever the toll
That I may find peace
with her in Eden
she'll fear no more

A winter has never seemed so long
my body so young
but this spirit wasting
to what end do we stop fighting?

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