Dad

There’s a sort of vacuum space in my mind where only you reside,
Where the presence of you has pushed aside all other thoughts.
I struggle through the bumps and potholes of missing you…
I knew this road wouldn’t be easy—the twists and turns of grief,
this insidious magician’s trick where one minute you were here then just…gone.
Even in the sub-basement of consciousness, I know you operate,
making a guest appearance as a distant figure in a recent dream
where I wondered whether or not you would
bridge the distance to come see me, yet you never did.
So, here I am now, Dad, feeling just as keenly the loss of moments that could have been
as the moments that have already happened, fumbling my way
toward the memories that make me smile, recollections that make me laugh.
I realize pain will be my soul’s passenger for a while;
I’m prepared to tread the deep as I work my way
through the stages of this sadness.
But as time does what it does and moves as it moves,
perhaps the tides will shave away the rough edges of this weighted rock
‘til I can rise to the surface and take that first unfettered breath.

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