'tis The Season Of..... by Shiloh

I am trying, so very hard,
to have the Christmas spirit,
the attitude of beauty and love
and joy and warmth
and happiness.... and wonder.....
This year it isn't easy to do this.
By now I would have had the presents wrapped.
I don't care if that happens or not.
Sent out the cards last week,
but I didn't care if they went out or not.
Used to enjoy the hustle and bustle of shopping -
the crowds, the lights, the people-
Not this year.
Planning the holiday meal - the wife is busy with that,
but I would be happy with a bowl of oatmeal this time around.
Used to look forward to having the family gather,
even if only in bits and pieces,
if not all together at the same time-.
This year the family is in pieces, instead.
Add to that -
my middle son's birthday is Christmas Eve.
He will be thirty-two.
Also, he will not be here -
we will not see him -
he has decided that we are no longer
his family.
He did this nearly a year ago,
and I cannot make you understand
how much this hurts.
There is no way to share the pain
so you would understand how I feel,
how his mother feels,
how his brothers feel.

And we have no way of knowing
how he feels.

Pondering Red (67.71.166.25) -- Tuesday, December 31 2013, 06:36 pm

i can relate
well written - descriptive and highly emotonal;
i do not know if you are wrting from a personal perspective or ficton - but what i want to say is that my oldest son, for reasons not fully understood by myself, has become estranged - no word for almost a year - yes, a happy Christmas with my family - yet a deep sadness without my oldest son being there - i think i know a bit of how you are feeling - well expressed - i ought to write about it - thank you for sharing

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