Went to a country-western bar
down in Pennsylvania a while back....
they were talking up this one girl
who was new to the stage, by saying how
she was the next and future Patsy Cline,
or something, so of course
I was happily waiting for her appearance......
Well, she came onstage with a lot of fanfare,
banging of cymbals and much snare drum
and bass drum noises....
And she was dressed for the part -
she had on the tassel-fringed cowgirl skirt in red
with silver trim, and the little red vest
that was a couple sizes too small for her (ahem) chest area,
and a couple top buttons of her cowgirl shirt unbuttoned,
with just the right amount of tease & peek showing...
and she had these adorable little red boots -
you know, the kind you wore when you were a kid
going to see a Roy Rogers and Dale Evans movie?
Well, anyway, after smiling a lot, and telling us
how she was so very glad to be there,
in this backwoods-like bar full of half-drunk idiots,
and ceiling to halfway to the floor cigarette smoke,
with poor lighting and speakers big enough
for Yankee Stadium,
she said she was going to perform one of her favorites,
and she knew it was one of ours, too.
Taking the mike in hand,
and turning a little coquettish pirouette on the toe of one boot,
she proceeded to sing, "Your Cheatin' Heart."
Yes, just like the MC said, she had a voice that was singular,
all her very own, and that only she could handle,
as surely no one else would want to....
She sounded exactly like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment!

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