I'm glad that the only person that can feel what your feeling is your self,
Because then I would have to explain it to someone, when I don't even understand it myself.
You've been holding it in for so long that you get to the stage where you've forgotten.
Trying to be strong, knowing if you let go, you'll loose control.
Being a bitch and taking it out on someone else, when they haven't done anything wrong.
Don't break down on me now, you have to face the day.
Looking in the mirror and seeing nothing there, just empty pleading eyes.
Once the tears start, it's like a flowing river, pouring down rain.
Deep in thought, trying to move on, what's my problem, somethings defiantly wrong.
People see me on my usual high, happy and laughing, I promise to smile and promise not to cry.
Never knowing what has become of me.
I feel lost and I feel that someone I had once loved betrayed me,
what I thought was the real meaning of a "best friend".
Why do I feel this way, wanting to curl up and cry,
wanting to scream and yell,
I don't like the feeling,
wanting to throwup all the time,
Like it's the only thing you can do,
to have control of a life that's said to be mine.
Sitting in a pitch black room wondering if there is such a place.
I know that I'd risk my life, if I could save one of my best friends lives, or anyone !!
No matter the cost.
It's no big deal, as long as your happy.
Be happy,
Because you don't want to feel like this...

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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