it's starting.
sometimes I welcome it.
sometimes I fear it.
this is the first time
that I have felt it beginning,
knowing what it was,
knowing what was happening,
and feeling that I no longer care,
I don't care what it does,
what it is gong to do,
or even how it is going to do it.
I'm not going to fight it any more.
tired of trying to try.
I don't think that I really care any more.
I would just like to get it over with.
I can't win, I can't break even,
and I can't even quit the damn game.
so it's starting again...
let's see what happens now.

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