I have discovered that
it is a helluva lot easier
to just take a nap,
rather than think too much.
Thinking is mental stress,
which is probably not good for me, either.
So damn much that is happening
that I cannot do a damn thing about –
family problems are right up there,
and as the daddy, of course I feel
that I should be able to do some damn thing,
but there just doesn't seem to be
much of anything that I can do.
I'm stretched right out beyond my limits,
and then a bit further.
Helpless and hopeless and upset as hell
because I just can't DO any more.
I want to.
There just isn't any way to do left.
Daddys are supposed to have the answers.
I don't.
Husbands are supposed to take care of things.
I can't.
My military training and background
made me take charge and make decisions that worked,
no matter the stumbling blocks.
Not any more.
The best I can hope for, I guess, is,
at the end, to die in my sleep.
So I take naps.

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