Why I Can't Stop by ErinBrenna

When I wake up in the morning,
I cry.
I pull myself out of bed and shower,
the water like ice on my tiny body.
When I finish I drop the towel,
looking at myself in the mirror.

Paper.
Thats what I am.
White and thin.
But I can't stop.

I go to my room and sit on my bed,
thinking of what I've become.
I'm disgusting.
Just looking at myself makes me want to vomit.
My veins poke through my paper skin.
My hair hangs limp on my pale face.

I'm not going back to who I was!
Everyone controlled everything!
I was a puppet,
living my life by their rules!

But not anymore.
Now I'm someone, my own person.
They can tell me what to wear,
and what to say,
They can keep me locked up inside my room forever!
But they can't make me eat,
Ever.

Paper.
Thats what I am.
White and thin.
But I can't stop.
Ever.

KitKatrina (68.116.64.38) -- Friday, July 18 2003, 11:52 pm

no....
I have done stupid things like starve myself because I wanted to do something someone didn't want me too. But that is so unhealthy and fatal. You have to eat sometime, is getting your way worth dying for? You own yourself, you can dress, act, and be who you want, but don't hurt yourself! Nothing is worth taking your own life!

ryan (24.153.177.14) -- Sunday, July 20 2003, 06:37 pm

let's see
Let's see don't starve yourself, you are a beautiful girl. There is no reason for that you alot of good things going for you in you life and things to come at WestWood, It'll be ok I'm always here for you Erin :-)

Andrew Eason

Seizure (67.33.178.134) -- Monday, July 21 2003, 04:00 pm

hmm..
KitKatrina said, "Nothing is worth taking your own life!"

I can think of a few things. But anyway, good poem. Well drafted.

calah (216.243.8.79) -- Monday, August 4 2003, 08:03 pm

dont do it babe!
Alright let's see i have had so many friend's think of themselves as fat and they starved themselves of course i didnt say anything of it i thought it would go away... i was wrong there was three of my friend's who were like that. 1 died the other i have no idea where she is and the other is in a mental hospital or something like that. think of you friend's and think of your loved one's what would you do if you died and they hated it sooo much. they would hate themsleves and go into the whole process of what ur doing. It's a deadly cycle. But you can stop it. It's up to you. good luck. if anyone would like to email me about this my email is alil2cute4u321@juno.com

Kayley (4.229.183.149) -- Saturday, April 10 2004, 04:04 pm

I agree
I have the same problem...5 years now, I am only 16. I know how it feels, and I think that if others cannot stop u then...well it is all up to u, my choice is the same as yours.

stacey (68.82.127.61) -- Sunday, April 11 2004, 04:09 pm

very well written
I really like the way you are so descriptive in this poem. Hopefully you can get things straightened out. What you go through every day sounds horrible. I wish you happiness. Keep writing, it's great thearapy.

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