You
Everything is chaos, a loud explosion of unexpected circumstances,
Ones that I brought on myself, others that were life’s way of pointing me into another direction,
Giving me another go around..

I can look back and see bits and pieces to some sort of puzzle, but It never quite made sense,
We meet and everything just clicked,
Days would turn into months, and then year’s
As time passes us like a gentle breeze,
You never cease to amaze me.

Whether it be stuck in a leaky camper, while it’s pouring for three days straight,
Walking back from breakfast on a boardwalk towards impending shouting from people who we shared a room with.
Holding you a little tighter to keep you warm, when our furnace would run out of fuel in that trailer,

Staring at you all night, making sure you kept breathing that one night in March two years ago…

You are here,
I’m here..
And really that’s all that matters..

See when I say things clicked,
It was as if life was saying “alright you’ve had your fun but let’s get back to the familiar”.
Even though we just met, I felt a connection to you as if I had missed you.
And when we found one another again, I never wanted to let go,
And I never did..

You are why I am who I am,
Just by being you, I slow down and enjoy life, and I don’t mean the stars or every little moment,
I mean I see what I wish the world saw,
Your witty, and very clever sense of humor,

Always quick to make me laugh,
always quick to turn something serious into something not so serious to keep it light.
I never get bored, fourteen years soon, and that’s just a number, over a decade of marriage also just a number, that will continue to grow,
But to feel as if we just met, and have known each other multiple lifetimes, and still finding new things out about one another..

God brought two people together, we weren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination,
Took some growing up, but throughout all the quirks, the two of us always stayed the course

You see,
I met you and fell in love with you,
Almost three years later we got married, and I loved you even more.
There was a few more years of life in-between,
Then there was a giant pause in March of 2017, that I think for the both
of us drew us even stronger together..

Its strange, sad things can happen, and change two lives in a split second.
One moment filled with questions and happiness, the next scared you will lose everything..
And then there was this silence..
A deep, long, heavy, silence..

Very quickly, your understanding of life is clear,
We didn’t expect that surprise, nor the lingering question of how do you ever get that excitement back,
But the thought of life taking you from me,
Well that is something my heart could never bare.

I didn’t sleep for three days, I still look at you while you nap, just thanking God, he kept you here for me, I still need you and always will..
you looked at me a few months ago and said,

“There will never be enough time in this life with you”

I couldn’t have said it any better, you took the jumbled words right out of my heart and formed them perfectly.

I don’t know that anyone is equipped to deal with that information,
Not that it was taken lightly, but that it’s a cut that is so deep, that only those who experience it can make some sense of it, leaving others who aren’t as strong, behind..

Fate, has the edge on us, we are 0 for 3, losing 3, though almost losing you..

Feeling’s that are stuck inside me for what seems like forever, are easier to write out,
But when spoken out loud, it’s hard, makes it all come back.
Melissa, you are my rock, and I hope by some stretch, I was able to be yours during this,
We have had each other, though silently dealing with grief in our own ways.

I don’t know how to be the guy I used to be, when it comes to entertaining groups of people, family, questions,
this dug deep, though immersed from the hole, its shadow still follows me.
Nothing has seemed like fun was worth having,
That part of me has kind of left.

But we have tried, and it just doesn’t seem right.
It was difficult to be with our friends and nobody wanted to talk to either of us,
So we kept moving forward, and though days go on,
how fast a year crept up, and now two.

I thank the Lord for the few, and I do mean that word (few), that we’re able to be here,
Talk to us, made sure some sort of gratitude was shown.

In writing this out,
I guess it’s a release of some sort..
Life has definitely had it’s ups and downs,
One things for sure,
I wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else,
This world just doesn’t make any sense,
Without,
You...

Tweet

Comments on this poem/writing:

Click here to read other Poems by Luke Mudge

Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: All Rights Reserved.   No part of this website, including all pictures and written words,  may be reproduced or copied in any manner from this website without  permission of the original author of the work.  All poetry and pictures herein remain the sole property of the original author and/or copyright owner.  All poetry on this website has been submitted by the original author of the work. To contact any author of the work please e-mail: dreamer@dreamersreality.com  so the proper person may be notified.