I never really had a family unit;
father, mother, brother, yes,
but not anything at all to brag about,
and certainly a most dysfunctional family
to try to stay the hell away from, most times.
Used to see all the warm fuzzy tv shows
that showed wonderful families on TV
and wish that I could have had something
even remotely close to one of those families,
and I would dream of one day
having a family like the ones on TV.
You know - where everyone basically got along,
any troubles were always figured out and fixed,
the father was totally respected...
the house was nice, the meals were nice,
the clothing was nice, even the car and the dog were nice.
Television lied to us.
TV F***IN' LIED TO ME!
Yes, I knew it was scripted,
but it sure looked like THE epitome
of my Great American Dream.
I ran away to the Army at 17,
to escape my fucked up and dysfunctional family.
After a couple years I came to realize
that the Army wasn't so great, either,
and I volunteered to go 'way overseas,
Berlin to Vietnam,
figured that I might get killed there
but it would be better
than what I was going through at the time.
Some folks have done "death by cop,"
I was willing to do "death by war."
Hell of a thing, huh?
Damn near happened, too.
But I came home.
Skoshe bit f***ed up in the mind,
but I came home.
Home was not what I remembered,
not even close.
There might be more to this later.

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