Why is it that any one decision
always seems to be too small
to be the biggest decision
of your life?
Well, I don’t know, either,
but sometimes
you just have to make the choice,
and jump.
You cannot continue to go through life
being the nice guy.
Those fellows really do finish in last place.
It’s good, though, because,
even though I know it’s really over,
which will hurt forever, of course,
at least I will not have any more years
of fantasies, or what if’s,
and such as that.
I am finally coming to realize
that I am always not quite there…
not the winner I wanted to be…
not the knight in shining armor
with a great white steed beneath me…
All those years I had thought it was
because your mother didn’t like me,
or that she didn’t trust me…
No idea where any of that came from,
but no matter now.
I just wish that I had not thought about it
so much, for so long…
for no good reason in the end.
I really wanted to do something great,
something important,-
I wanted so much more that what I got,
so much more than what I left you,
then I ran.
I ran down all the different paths I came upon,
as you walked yours.
I loved you, Dorothy.
I will always feel that.
I enjoyed our brief time together…
I will always remember your lips,
your smile, your eyes, the touch of your hand,
the smell of the curve of your neck…
the way it was to hold my hand on your back
as I held you close…
and I wonder,
when we are both dead and gone,
if we meet again in Heaven,
will we know each other then?

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