Tears On Your Birthday by KitKatrina

It's your birthday today and you're 52,
I only wish that I could celebrate it with you,
But I can't you see, because you've passed away,
You've already been gone a year, since last May,
It was a terrible life for you, I know,
But I just can't seem to let you go,
Each day goes by and I feel so much pain,
Sometimes I go out and stand in the rain,
Sometimes I lay out in the street,
With wet clothes on my back and no shoes on my feet,
No matter what I'm doing, I'm thinking of you,
And still I'm lost and don't know what to do,
How much harder will it get for me?
As the years go by I guess I'll just see,
I'm only 15 though and I just want you here,
To be able to say, "I want my daddy" and shed a tear,
I do say that and I cry all the time,
Mom asks how I am and I reply, "FINE!"
I went to your grave and talked to you today,
I spoke from the heart and said what I wanted to say,
I go there a lot and just cry out to you,
But you can't respond like I want you too,
I realize now that I need you so much,
There's emptiness in me and it's driving me nuts,
I don't know how I'll go on without you,
It is just getting harder and I'm dying without you,
How come I couldn't see how much I needed my dad?
If only I knew in the beginning I wouldn't be so sad,
Well I guess I could keep writing about this for years,
I guess I could sit around and just shed my tears,
But I won't do that I'll try to be happy for you,
I'll be happy for you but happy for me too,
I lost someone so extremely important to me,
But I'm looking through your eyes and this is what I see,
Someone happy now, and healthy as well,
No more pain for you I can tell,
You are happy now dad and so I'm happy for you,
Happy birthday and Congratulations on the big 5-2!

Terrie* (65.148.232.13) -- Monday, August 25 2003, 10:14 pm

this was extremely far beyond Beautiful...
Kit, i am a #1 fan of your writings...your writings describe many emotions that one goes thru..i read this poem....with tears blocking my view.. i automatically thought of my two children...great poem...i will tune in again to read some more...Terrie*

iesja. (81.244.13.24) -- Wednesday, October 6 2004, 08:58 pm

. . . .
Today I went to my fathers grave... I had a really bad day, everything was going wrong. I had a really strang feeling so I needed to go to the grave of my daddy. After I left, the feeling was gone, so I was happy... But when I stood by his grave I really was sad. I cried... Then I came home and searched for the sentence : "I went to your grave" and I found your wonderfull poem... You just describe how I feel... thx!! It's nice to know I'm not the only one...
-kiss-
from a 16year-old Belgian girl

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