An Accident by LinzAy

I looked at my wrist today
And imagined it colored red
Not quite sure what brought this thought
It just popped into my head

And I liked it
The color of red imagined on my skin
And I could see myself drawing a line down my arm
Cutting my skin open

I didn't know what to do
Or what I was to use
So I just grabbed a razor blade
To begin the self abuse

I sliced it once, but not too deep
A dark red slowly began to pour
But still I continued to cut
Because I simply wanted more

But then I started to feel weird
And my strength was almost gone
Everything had started turning black
By death I was overcome

I didn't want to die today
I didn't know this was where slicing could've lead
When I looked at myself in the mirror today
I didn't imagine myself dead

Starving Artist (68.196.205.69) -- Tuesday, November 11 2003, 01:16 am

Constructive Critisizism
Well, in all seriousness, the idea behindthe poem was good. Your stansa structure was well thought out. But your words are elementary and it sounds more like a cry for attention than anything . The words such as: red, popped, liked, grabbed ect,ect.. You get the picture, you need to work on your vocabulary. I began writing in the third grade, so it's not like this is comming from some loser. Well good luck to you in the future.

LinzAy (65.35.22.28) -- Tuesday, December 23 2003, 07:23 am

Starving Artist
Actually this poem was not a cry for attention....i never really write about suicide so that's why it was so simply worded........

thankyou for ur criticism

batafish22 (64.72.57.205) -- Friday, December 17 2004, 09:37 pm

no title
dont listen to starving artist, your words being elementary is bull. dont worry about it. coming from someone who really cuts, all that matters is that you wrote what you felt, so... whatever

carl (4.65.238.101) -- Wednesday, December 22 2004, 06:36 pm

great job!!!!!!
i loved it just like i do all your other stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blade (168.221.27.195) -- Monday, February 14 2005, 08:09 pm

no title
i agree with striving artest

dark3nstar (4.239.234.203) -- Monday, April 11 2005, 10:54 pm

no title
this is a great poem its like you were talking about me... keep up your hopes and dreams

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