Flock Of Seagulls by Llyn Amate

memories sweep through my life
you are there and you hear it all
i am ashamed
i am afraid
how can you love someone
such as me

i am not quite right
i fumble through the passions
of life
feeling a dull gray
there are no colores here
only black and white
non-entities

i turn to you
and you are there
i turn to you
and you are not there

i am ashamed
i want the pink glow
of health
i want to serve others
i want to be a positive example

but
i am winding down tunnels
that do not exist
i am falling down cliffs that are too tall
i am diving into the ocean
from a barnacled rock
i am isolated
and alone
i cry for help

but only your are there
and you are not there

i want to show you i am strong

you
have your own life
you belong in your circles
and i rejoice for you

but i
i fall down slides of blackness
i trip down halls of hatred
of self
i look to you for yellow
something bright
i am afraid you will give up
on me

i want to achieve for you
you are my mentor
i want what you are
i see in you blues and greens
i see in you violets and brightness
you are what i want to be

i do not want to be a burden

i want to thrive

yet i fall into pits of the non
of brown evil
of soft traps

i wish for this pain to disappear
i wish for you to love me
that-
is not possible
i wish the impossible
i wish for a treasure

and you
you care
this is hard to accept
something inside me withers and dies
but this is a good thing
for the something
is evil

i can only hope
i can survive this

i need you more than you know
and i know i cannot need you
or you will leave
you do not need me
no one ever has
i am incidental

and red seagulls dance on my arm
they fly to freedom
oceans unknown
they capture me with their wildness and
i am set free by their
lack of pain

how i wish to fly away
on their wings

Meridian (152.163.253.8) -- Thursday, August 5 2004, 07:45 pm

Llyn!
Flock of Seagulls! I'm with you on this one, I wish to grow wings on my back, and just flap out of here, ya know? I love the way you describe emotions to the color wheel.... You want the bright colors of happiness ----red, yellow, blue, violet, etc. But you keep falling into browns, and blacks.... Oh the horror of it all! This is so great, it's just like I was reading a Perry Mason script! Good job! No. SPLENDID job! On, expressing the way you want to feel! Clap clap! Smiles, Meri

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: All Rights Reserved. No part of this website, including all pictures and written words, may be reproduced or copied in any manner from this website without permission of the original author of the work. All poetry and pictures herein remain the sole property of the original author and/or copyright owner. All poetry on this website has been submitted by the original author of the work. To contact any author of the work please e-mail: dreamer@dreamersreality.com so the proper person may be notified.