That Damn Cat by Mark Spencer

Okay, this might seem a little petty,
But I've got to get it off my chest!
I've never been jealous of any man,
But that cat is becoming a pest!

I tried to throw him out of the window,
That's how I got my arm all tore up!
See where he latched on and climbed back in?!
Hell, you don't even need a close-up!

He gets all of my lady's attention!
And I just hate when he walks up to gloat!
I'm even outnumbered in arguments,
'Cause she lets the damn cat have a vote!!

Now, is that fair?! I tell you, that ain't right!
And she brought that thing into MY house!
He thinks he's bad when he can scratch me up,
But his useless butt can't catch a mouse!

And I tell you, that ain't the worst of it!
Check out what he does when I'm sleepin'!
He waits till I'm having a real good dream,
Then under my sheets he comes creepin'!!

Does this look like a scratchin' posts to you?!
And that ain't no damn way to wake up!!
I'm at the end of my rope with that cat!!
And don't tell me to kiss and make up!

That damn cat would just rip my lips right off!!
And my wife, she ain't no help at all!
She acts like that cat can't do nothing wrong!
I'd like to throw him against the wall!!

I'm here to tell you, that cat is evil!
He never lets me get any rest!
I wake up and find him starring at me,
'Fore he sharpens his claws on my chest!

But I came up with a plan to strike back,
When I went out last night for my jog!
That damn cat don't know who he's messin' with!
Today I'm gonna get me a dog!!

Timothy Reynolds (216.165.188.79) -- Saturday, October 11 2003, 10:30 am

LOL.
Very funny...very good!

Megan (67.127.55.73) -- Sunday, October 19 2003, 11:44 pm

Too funny!
I think the cat and dog will be friends and then you'll be more outnumbered!

leah (199.126.238.142) -- Friday, January 30 2004, 03:53 am

...
Funny

Cody (216.100.215.5) -- Thursday, April 29 2004, 06:51 pm

Oh man!
LOL man, Ive been reading like all your poems, and theyre all really good, but the funny ones are great! This is the best one (I think) out of all of em! Toodles

shiloh (74.65.121.49) -- Friday, September 19 2008, 07:23 am

ahh... the comfort of feline presence...
Cats are like good beer... one cat just leads to another... always remember that time spent in the company of cats is never wasted.

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