Suicide
13 January, 2003
Author: Mark Spencer
It was really very easy,
not at all like I thought.
I feared it might be painful,
to take that fatal shot.
But the second that I fired,
put that bullet through my heart.
It was at that very instant,
my soul, it did depart.
I stood outside my body,
watched it twitch and convulse.
And had I still been alive,
I would have been repulsed.
I thought "At last, it's over",
my victory was won.
I was soon to discover,
my woes had just begun.
An angel came before me,
to inform me of my fate.
He said, here you must remain,
for the judgment that awaits.
There are lives that you have altered,
who now endure this pain.
Some that cannot be repaired,
that your future did contain.
Children who will not be born,
throughout the generations,
And the impact they would have had
on the rest of creation.
Now you shall be a witness,
to all this deed has wrought.
Unto the end of its effects,
for that is now your lot.
And this is how it has been
six score and thirteen years.
And how it shall continue,
‘til the angel reappears.
So through this poet's verses,
in you I now confide.
That you know the fate I suffer,
the price of suicide.
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Comments on this poem/writing:
| LinzAy (205.188.208.72) -- Sunday, February 16 2003, 11:00 pm AH! I love this poem Mark!! |
| Marci (204.248.60.10) -- Tuesday, February 18 2003, 07:35 pm This is an excellent poem. The description in it was perfect!!! |
| ryan (24.153.177.14) -- Wednesday, February 19 2003, 04:59 am wow is all i can say |
| bre (66.99.49.50) -- Thursday, February 20 2003, 06:28 pm that was different i think you need a therapist |
| Mark Spencer (205.188.209.44) -- Friday, February 21 2003, 05:14 am I'll call Dr. Phil in the morning bre. Maybe we can go together. |
| Lori Ann Day (198.81.26.142) -- Saturday, February 22 2003, 01:12 am I've been the victim of three suicides that were needless. Had I not been strong, I would have been one of those lives that cannot be repaired, but I do not depend on myself, and float on the wings of uplifting prayer. I think Dr. Phil would agree with you. |
| Mark Spencer (205.188.209.44) -- Wednesday, February 26 2003, 03:21 am I feel it's important that I clarify the context upon which this poem was written. That way, no one else will misinterpret it's meaning as bre appears to have done. I wrote this from the perspective of a soul who was where he was because he died by his own hand. He is bound to this earthly plane to witness the effects of his loss on the rest of the world until the effect of that loss is finished. It is a logical fate that could await any who prematurely end their existence. I is a fate I hope this poem helps to prevent. One more note; I did not set out to write it this way. My views on what happens to suicides was much different. This would never have crossed my mind. But I changed my perspective on the subject as this poem began to write itself. It was a strange experience. Mark |
| marykween1 (67.27.177.126) -- Wednesday, March 26 2003, 06:16 am wow this was very creative |
| Martin Vann (65.57.56.145) -- Wednesday, March 26 2003, 07:11 pm Mark, Amazing isn't it, that what we think we write is what we think at that time. Then we find others, our poetic friends, who see the words, in completely different light/s. That can be a revalation in itself and add strength and meaing to what it was "we" thought we had written down... With that said, your poem told me one thing, there is no way out, there is only a beginning, away from where we started, and when it comes, you will not be alone. Life, though hard as it may seem, is a gift, not property, it does not belong to you, it belongs to all of us even,it's despair. Very Good, MartinV |
| Justus Isaiah Richardson (205.188.208.172) -- Thursday, April 24 2003, 11:07 am This would truly suck if it turned out to be what happens to your soul if you commit suicide! Justus |
| Justus Isaiah Richardson (152.163.189.97) -- Monday, May 5 2003, 12:07 am This poem scares the crap out of me. To think I might have succeeded and shared this fate. Justus |
| gini (67.30.166.153) -- Thursday, July 10 2003, 02:24 am it was very creative and i had tried suicide b4 but i didn tcut deep enough .im glad i hadnt bc then i wouldnt have this sucky ass life but i have wonderful friends that mean the world to me and it would have killed them to let me go.. |
| Kelsey (66.218.6.249) -- Tuesday, August 19 2003, 03:00 am i luv it its a great poem. ive tried suicide and it didn't work like i wanted it to and now im glad it didn't work cause im happt to be alive |
| Lary (12.168.234.188) -- Friday, August 29 2003, 04:37 am Very nice work. Original, short and powerful. I like it. |
| georgie (203.40.29.115) -- Friday, September 5 2003, 03:23 am i really love this poem, it so detailed i love it. |
| abby (171.75.60.150) -- Tuesday, September 23 2003, 01:58 am i'm only 14 and i already tried suicide i tried to slit my wrists although i was not succsesful (Thank God) i still have the scars that will haunt me forever your poem made me think about how good life really is. |
| Dayna (63.125.65.140) -- Friday, September 26 2003, 09:16 pm A really close friend named Grasion Grien just died on sept. 22 2003. He hung himself in the middle of his room and he did sucseed. his funaral was today. (sept. 25, 2003) He had many many friends and he left them all behind. Evryone was crying i thought i was goin to die i knew him sence he was born and now i had to say good-bye i cried so hard i was goin to try suicide but then i rememberd i wanted to stay alive! i dont really like my life but only i can help that i have made so many wrong dicitions i really wanted to try suicide but i did not and i am still here so talk to me somtime and please dont be scared!! |
| Dayna (63.125.65.140) -- Friday, September 26 2003, 09:16 pm A really close friend named Grasion Grien just died on sept. 22 2003. He hung himself in the middle of his room and he did sucseed. his funaral was today. (sept. 25, 2003) He had many many friends and he left them all behind. Evryone was crying i thought i was goin to die i knew him sence he was born and now i had to say good-bye i cried so hard i was goin to try suicide but then i rememberd i wanted to stay alive! i dont really like my life but only i can help that i have made so many wrong dicitions i really wanted to try suicide but i did not and i am still here so talk to me somtime and please dont be scared!! |
| Ashley (64.66.202.191) -- Saturday, October 4 2003, 07:40 pm This poem is great. My close friend Brittany is going through one of lifes' episodes right now. I mean she slits her wrists and everything. But i think if she read this poem, she would have a different perspective on life. |
| hannah (207.235.204.3) -- Wednesday, October 8 2003, 07:43 pm my friend just comitted suicide yesterday... i really wish she could have read this maybe it would have helped her..i miss her so much i know im not the only one she was loved by many! i guess now she knows that... but im happy because shes in a better place now with the lord.. i cant wait till i get to see her again! thankyou very much mark for writing this it helps so many ppl..even though it couldnt save my friend.... |
| Ciara (64.12.96.138) -- Thursday, October 16 2003, 10:53 pm I love this poem and think it's GREAT!!! |
| Katie (213.249.213.115) -- Wednesday, October 22 2003, 08:12 pm I think this poem is ace, it really makes people understand what other poeple go through |
| Allie (12.82.128.14) -- Thursday, October 30 2003, 09:37 pm this poem is the s### |
| Chelsey (64.22.212.82) -- Saturday, December 6 2003, 05:09 am mark, after reading this i feel like there are no words to describe how i am feeling. just keep writing! please |
| Sara R. (64.179.24.101) -- Thursday, December 18 2003, 12:31 am Hey guys...Oh God...my brother Jonathan (Jay) Rozecki commited suicide November 16, 2003. He shot himself in the head at 11:00 pm and died at 11:30 pm. Sadly, my family couldn't be there with him. Me and my parents live in Maine, the rest lives in Massachusets....Jay went to Colorado to do this. I'm wicked sad, and I really wish I could have done something, but at 13, what could I do???? I'll never see him again! OMG this is soo hard.... :( |
| kevin wolf (68.113.79.104) -- Thursday, January 8 2004, 03:24 am very nice Mark. Shirt and it gets to the point. I believe that all the people that have read this poem have been affected in some way shape or form. I thank you for writeing this poem for it has opend my eyes to all the harship that people go through in life and in the other realm. I now hove an idea to share to my friends about the decisions that they make every day and how it will afect them the next day after that. So once again thank you and keep writeing. Sincerily Kevin Wolf |
| yolanda marquez (209.194.187.207) -- Tuesday, February 24 2004, 04:54 am i think you know about suicide and shouldn't think about it because you have a talent to write good poems and should write more also awesome job!!!!!!!!! |
| Chris (68.45.212.166) -- Tuesday, March 16 2004, 10:35 pm Mark, great poem. My girlfriend committed suicide May 2003 after we had a fight. Everyday I wonder where she could be and why. I myself have thought of following in her footsteps. Your poem has touched me deeply. Thank you. |
| Monica (65.64.255.180) -- Tuesday, April 13 2004, 11:05 pm I have tried to commit suicide once before and in the middle of slitting my wrists did I realize that I had I good life. After i read this I am even more glad that i didn't suceed. Thank You. |
| Brittany Newsome (205.204.242.22) -- Friday, May 14 2004, 07:52 pm Oma god Thats the best poem ever |
| barb (209.112.24.202) -- Saturday, May 15 2004, 03:45 pm Your writing is what I believe too. So much pain for loved ones. So many things not to happen. Good writing and understanding hope this helps others see. |
| Megan (24.144.58.54) -- Tuesday, October 24 2006, 11:49 pm That was sooooo DEEP! What a terrible fate to have to endure, with no possible way to escape! Great, great, great poem Mark. |
| bri (66.82.9.88) -- Sunday, August 26 2007, 10:21 pm i really liked the poem how do you come up with such good ideas for yur poems |
| bri (66.82.9.88) -- Sunday, August 26 2007, 10:22 pm i really liked the poem how do you come up with such good ideas for yur poems |
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