i want to dive into the frenzy
of this city-
so alive
and full of festivals.
i can feel the energy-
buzzing-
colours and flavours
of people watching people.
i want to savour it all.
the wildness sends me to my own
maybe the energy of this early summer
is enough
to keep my spirit alive.
i sit - almost happy-
after all of this pain
there is a certain freedom.

after a lovers death-
after the trauma
and the shock that sustains you-
keeps you functioning
keeps you eating to stay alive.

this savage heat penetrates
everything.
a slight breeze does not help;
dead heat-
the plants thrive.
you are gone.
through the tears and the sweat on my eyelids
I see your blue guitar.
did you ever exist ?
certainly the friends who brought
white wine and rum
and cooked food
said so.
they lit white candles.

maybe you are floating on a cloud-
swimming through this space-
watching me-
i breathe in your essence.
i feel your presence.
i burn your sweet grass.
i listen to your songs.
your guitar chords strum through
my room-
slow and building faster,
haunting and peacefully sad
yes
even in this tropical heat,
humidity extreme-
i can finally lay down and rest.
you are at peace.
i can feel it.
i see you almost laughing,
as in a dream
where you smiled from a distance-
a sign,
perhaps.
and so, my love-
I sit in this early summers heat-
as your eyes shoot out pale blue light.

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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