You have driven me
to letting my nails grow long
so that I may stab you in my dreams,
so that I may dig at the flesh of my hands
to etch a symbol of relief.
I sit in the courtyard.
Yup, life's been hard.
Karma attacks and strangles you and me
and barely lets go, barely lets you show
your goodness under the leather mask
of alcoholic evil and all of its consequences.
You have built many fences and yards
and have killed many conversations.
Now, outside, let's hide for awhile -
relax, maybe smile - secluded, neighbours gone,
ivy struggling to climb the brick wall,
a round white table you found,
two white chairs-I stare.
I can barely see a glimmer of light,
of life in your black eyes.
Dusk filters its mystery over us,
veils its ethereal beauty over the drabness
and creates a shimmering cloud of angeldust.
I watch you penetrate through this
to follow the smoky charcoaled path,
leaving me in another dimension of thought,
deeper than your hidden truths.
I am happy to sit and rest.
The words of the Spanish rappers flood
and invade the yard-scratchy stereo,loud.
I chew on the steak bone,savour the salad,
the avocado, bravo-something is right.
I stare into space, the moment suspended.
You should get a sentence for your negligence.
You should get a parakeet to be your friend,
one with brilliant plummage,shocking green
and golden bird -this could be your love.
I feel unsure - insecure - want a cure -
need to be safe - want to be free.
Yet, for awhile,as you pretend to smile,
I want to believe that this is a chapter in a story.
No glory here.Will this misery end ?
Will you ever be my friend ?
Will this slow death leave us to serve our purpose ?
Will my selfishness leave my self ?
So that I may find love ?
So that I may lose you so that I may help me ?
Don't touch me. I have had enough.
And now, on this particular Sunday,
Hey, what can I say, the meal was exceptionally good

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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