The Visit
9 August, 2003
Author: Seizure
I walk into the room, I still see you there
Putting on make up, sitting in that chair
Pictures line the desk, they also grace the wall
I was always there, to catch you when you'd fall
I smell your perfume, I hear you call my name
Ever since you left, I haven't been the same
I miss you so much, but you'll never know
Just how much I cared, because you had to go
Would you really care? If you knew today?
I tell myself you would, why'd you go away?
I return to my car, I want to see you
I put it off so long, we both know it's true
I pass several homes, I am almost there
I am growing weak, it's too much to bear
I got you flowers, I hope you like them
All your favorite color, they are all long stem
Well I'm at the place, I get out of the car
You're right around here, you're not very far
Finally at the spot, I look down at your grave
It said, "Nat, we miss you," damn I must be brave
I want to say so much, I want to say goodbye
I loved you so much, why'd you have to die?
My eyes watered up, I don't know what to say
I laid down the flowers, then I walked away
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Comments on this poem/writing:
| luc (68.74.144.240) -- Saturday, July 12 2003, 07:14 pm wasnt expecting the girl to be dead. it was good poem. what more can i say? they flow just like the others, and ryme beautifully.. its sad when someone dear dies.. but we always move on. good poem.. |
| ashley b (12.222.12.163) -- Monday, July 14 2003, 06:43 pm your poems are always great. they are so personal, but they still can make connections with others. it was sad, but oh so beautiful too. most of my poems are sad, but thats just what i write. i love your writing style and poetry style. good job, keep it up. |
| Ash (65.73.59.238) -- Monday, July 14 2003, 11:26 pm Another wonderful poem seiz, i definitely agree with ashley b's comment on how your work is personal yet felt by others at the same time. |
| Leah06 (12.232.5.189) -- Tuesday, July 15 2003, 11:27 pm WOW! Great twist with the ending. Great poem! |
| Seizure (67.34.132.63) -- Wednesday, July 16 2003, 02:19 pm i'm glad you guys thought it was ok. |
| Mark (211.26.72.59) -- Monday, July 21 2003, 02:47 pm I stumbled across this site a few months ago...i thought id check it out and ended up reding a few of ur poems...the visual intesity is unbelievable! evry single poem drew me right in...its like im there! and not to forget they always have great twists...u really have a gift ey...u should think bout publishing em or sumthin...anyway i was curious what motivates u 2 write...i mean do you need someone to give you an idea to go on or do u jst think of all of em? now i know you probably dont do this but i was wondering if ya cant think of sumthin 2 write bout id give ya an idea...i was with this girl for just over a year...she became ma 1st love...and i mean i loved ha more dan anything on thi planet...anyway one day i kissed the school slut cos i was pretty drunk not that its a real excuse...i told ha da next day and things went real weird u know...anyway like a week later she slept wif sum1 else...we had a huge fight bout everything after dat...a year alter we havent had one single decent conversation...we both moved on but wer both on da "what if" question...anyway i know i will regret it 4 da rest of ma life but i want a way 2 tell ha dat im goin out of ha life 4 good...i really dont want 2 i wanna stay friends or sumthin but i think it will b the right thing 2 do.......soooo u recon thers a way of putin all that in words? |
| Seizure (67.33.178.134) -- Monday, July 21 2003, 03:32 pm You were curious what motivates me to write... 80 percent of everything I write is from personal experience. The other 20 percent comes from outside sources (such as suggestions, a movie, a story, a friend's situation, etc). As for the poem you're suggesting... it's possible. Contact Dreamer with your request and she will forward it to me. In your request include the following information: 01: What perspective is the poem to be written from? (eg, first person (I, we, us) or third person (he, she, they). 02: What is the overall message to be conveyed? (eg, acceptance, moving on, longing for, etc) 03: Everything you just posted about it to keep it simple and I don't have to keep running back and forth. If you do that, I'll know you're serious about your request and we'll take care of it. Later. |
| Seizure (68.19.11.127) -- Wednesday, July 30 2003, 03:16 pm Judging from the fact I never received an email request message from Dreamer, I'm going to assume this was a false request. |
| Mark (132.234.187.106) -- Thursday, July 31 2003, 02:44 am hey seizure sorry bout the wait bro...just started back at university again so things were a bit crazy recently...anyway i jst e-mail dreamer. hope i gave you a good understanding of what i would like if not dont hesitate to ask more questions...as i said to her i know its pretty hard to write sumthin from other peaoples experiences and feeling but if ya give it a go ill greatly appreciate it. thnx n sorry bout da delay again! |
| Seizure (68.19.39.57) -- Wednesday, August 6 2003, 11:22 pm Since you didn't reply to my last email, I don't know if it's an active account... so I'm posting that poem you requested me to write here too.. I know it's probably not what you wanted.. but I gave it a shot... so you know.. ------------------------------------------ There's some things on my chest, I think I must let out So I'm writing you, you know what about We were together, for over a year You were my first love, you eased my every fear More than anything, I wanted you happy You were everything, that mattered to me But life has a way, to always turn out wrong If it can it must, I just don't belong Before I was with you, I was all alone I had many faults, I could not atone Yet you still saw me, as someone in your eyes This was the first time, I had a good surprise I was always lost, I never had a soul No one noticed me, I think it was God's goal But you washed away, all that brought me pain I was so happy, I just can't explain But I kissed the slut, that's stuck in our school I just don't know why, I felt like a fool I tried to tell you, and you got so pissed It's not like we fucked, girl we only kissed Then you found a guy, and cheated on me That went a little far, I think you would agree You tried to get me back, but it was obscene You were so dirty, you needed Mr Clean Just a year later, we talked on the net You'd leave your boyfriend, for me, yeah, I bet We can never talk, without the fighting So how could that work? I don't want your sting I still miss you now, but just understand That girl that I kissed, was just never planned I'll regret forever, just letting you go But our time has passed, I thought that you should know |
| Crimson Angel (12.249.164.87) -- Friday, August 8 2003, 06:15 pm Very nicely written, if you hadn't written it, I probably would have..Ommfg, almost everything you write, reminds me of past experiences. But, hey, at least you can write down the shit that I can't. Nice job. Your Fan, CA. |
| Seizure (68.155.222.214) -- Sunday, August 17 2003, 05:28 am I appreciate the over generous comment there. I like it when others can relate to the bullshit I write down... |
| ashley R (66.53.130.215) -- Sunday, October 19 2003, 05:51 pm I think i would have to agree w/ Luc on this one. I didn't xpect the women to be dead. I'm sorry |
| Seizure (68.19.43.36) -- Sunday, October 19 2003, 08:01 pm You don't have to be sorry, you didn't kill her. |
| Ashley R. (66.53.129.57) -- Wednesday, October 22 2003, 04:02 am Hey sorry bout your friend. I mean i cant help but feel sorry, its just one of those things. |
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