Driven here from the beginin' of never winnin'
My life's been spinnin' around, taken me down to the ground
Without the love of a family which I still havn't found
I've been tattood a frown in my task
Even way back in the past -- love didn't last
Always afraid to ask, so I just slack to look back
At the start of this attack to see what I lack
I let myself crack, I can't adapt, I'm broke, I can't elope
I've snapped after hearing the words you spoke
I can't cope, I've lost all hope
And you provoke me to be debating on why there is all this hating
I've been waiting for a brake but it's to late to try to copensate it
I've been sedated by your mistakes, I'll never get it, I'm so pathetic
I regret it everyday the way I let you in
No matter what I say, I never win
I can't begin to explain the pain in my brain
It's a stain that will never fade, it stays the same
I can't erase what I'm faces with in this place
I watch as my family continues crumbling and brakes
We've handled all that we can take
There aint even any food to make, my stomachs rumbling
My 16 year old sister stays out late, and walks in stumbling
Tumbling over things, she's drunk
My mother got struck with some incurable desease, she's ok to a degree
But she'll never become what she wants to be -- a mom
She just gets depressed and smokes her weed
She's not addicted, She just calls it a need
It's so sad to see her so bad, She just gives up on trying
And just sits in there crying about how we can get by and survive
My stepfathers working full time in two jobs
Just to bring home two dimes that gets robbed
By the rent that we never make on time
Because the money goes up his nose with a line
And with this rhyme I guess I've got to mention
The tension of my father, who doesn't care to help
Or bother to see his kids, he's got me pissed about disapearing like this
Last but not least, there's the youngest who's six
Having her see all this makes me sick
I just hope she's still young enough to have none of this click
How can I let my sister live like this?
I wish my life was a trick, snap my fingers and make it slip away
Can I go on? I'm so afraid, lifes been so long
It's a fight everyday, can't see where things went wrong
But I hope I can be strong until it fades away
So until that day, I just keep writing away
Typing all the feelings I just can't bare to say
And hope this life has something stored away
Maybe a dream come true, and have all this fade
But for now, I'll sit patiently and wait for a better day

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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