Battle Within by Shan

It starts with two fingers
Pulling at my skin
While insanity surrounds my head
Trying to get within
I get nervous
As the thoughts start to dig down deep
I grab my head with my hands
And try rocking myself to sleep
That doesn't work
Only more irritated now
The thoughts down deeper then ever before
I grab for my only friend, the knife
And ask once again, what I'm living for
Intensly shaking as silent tears fall
They mix with the blood
Of the first slice I've made
Between the clear and red
I've made a flood
Swimming in the pain
In the sorrow, in the release
Hard to believe
The pain leaves a sence of peace
The knife would never hurt me
As much as the inside of myself does
Hard to explain the balence
Of how causing pain could help
But somehow all the fears disapear
And I finally see a bit of myself
I reach a climax
Knife falling to the ground
Put my shaky hands down
To catch myself on the floor that I've found
Catch my breath, ridding of the sobs
Put my hands back up to my head
And thank the lord once again
That I am not dead

Brittany (199.239.208.7) -- Monday, April 18 2005, 06:08 pm

that was good
That was a really good poem. I write alot of poems like that. I cut but not always because i wanna kill myself after i cut i do regret it alittle but i keep goin back to doin it because it makes me feel better but im glad sumtimes i didn't go through with it all the way.

Amber H (172.208.5.145) -- Monday, April 25 2005, 08:21 am

wow
i"ve never tried to killmyself with and as the razor im still not nervous the blood doesnt scare an two hours latter im too crying thankin that im still here if it got to deep i dont know what i d do you made me remember the days before the care slipped away

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