The Fight by Shan

this cold tear stands for more then you know
it grows as it rolls, look there it goes..
down your cheek, makes you wanna neva speak
makes you wanna go bizerk with your life and this knife,
how can this eva work.. bizerk on evrything that ever caused you strife
you can't handle this life, you've done nothing rite,
but strive to survive, strive to feel alive, strive to get to drive
the way you want in this life,
take things in control,wait stop, put down tha bowl,
before you try to be in command
state what you demand, noones here to give you a hand
you'll sink in tha quick sand, and diminish like a trick
regain ur composer and try again, it makes you sick

you did this to urself, all this pain you feel inside
you made your bumpy ride, you took away all ur pride,
made urself think twice about the shit you set aside
about the shit you kept in, the shit deep within
is what needs to come out, that's what this is all about
take a minute to think, if you just let go and release,
you maybe just wont sink, you mite actually find a link
if you just get off ur ass and stop feelin sorry for urself
if you push and try you mite actually survive
no longer have to strive for urself to feel alive
take command and demand to get what you want to have in hand
be a man, not a stiff necked manican, you can make it damnit!
all you have to do is try

Wondering (67.27.41.63) -- Wednesday, March 5 2003, 07:52 am

Fight!
This would make a good rap song! Wondering if you thought about it? I can feel the beat of your poem. Like the last three lines. Feel that man? It rocks Shan! Sing it Bro!

lasohnda harris (12.229.199.53) -- Wednesday, March 5 2003, 06:38 pm

hes right
hes right it does sound like a rap song I can feel the beat in my head to you should go for it

shan (205.188.208.133) -- Friday, March 7 2003, 02:41 am

thanks guys
this poem actually came from a rap song i was riting, ya know.. maybe one day all the little notes and raps i rite will be something.. maybe the words i type will one day have an effect on the point i try to make.. thanks for the inspiration to keep goin guys!! and Wondering.. hehe not to put u on the spot or anything cuz it happends all the time.. but i'm a girl!!hehee :-)

lasohnda harris (12.229.199.53) -- Friday, March 7 2003, 03:32 am

da
I knew that but we can still talk as friends

wondering (67.26.83.53) -- Friday, March 7 2003, 06:23 am

So sorry! Shan
Looks like Shaun(Shan). So I hit the nail on the head. You are making a rap song. I could feel the beat Shan. Nice piece of work. Enjoy your style, your raps to a beat. Good luck to a song.

Don Mobley (204.38.44.2) -- Thursday, March 4 2004, 04:38 pm

Shan..
naw man, that could not be a rap song unless you get a beat. i can almost get a beat in my head but this song should be sang like twista, he is now the fastest rapper. on the strive part, that would be the best part for it. just lettin you know, but other wise, it is good. i actually like it. i write rap/poems, and every one who has read them think that they are awsome, then i rap them for them and they like it more becuase it has a distinct flow. but ya, if you wanna know i can let ya know. write back. <font color="red">email_removed, please use the messageboard, thanks</font>

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