Ican'tbelieveididit
16 May, 2001
Author: Shiloh
Ican'tbelieveIdidit.Hardtounderstandhow.Iwasonlyakid,onlyateenager.
Iremembertheheat,thesmellofsweatandmoldonmyshirt,thedampandcold
feelingoftheclothbecauseitneverdried,andIremembertherecoilof"rockandroll"
andIwasn'tevenoldenoughtovoteyet,butIhadagun!TrythathereintheStates!Noway;
theseason'sclosedhere,exceptindreams.Istilldoitinmydreams.FunnybuttodayI'm
moreofaPeacenikthantheHippiesofthe'60's.Theywereright,inaway,andsowere
Peter,PaulandMary,butwedidn'tlisten,didwe?Imagic-markeredabigPeacesymbol
onmyflakjacket,halfmocking,halfserious.Neverhadashort-timercalendarforthedays-
Ionlycountedthenights;theyscaredhelloutofme.Ihatedthenightandthedarkbecause
Icouldn'tseeandmyimaginationplayedhellwithmyears.Inevercountedthedays.Still
gotthepullringfrommyfirstgrenadethrowninfear;damnnearblewmyselfaway,butIlearned.
VolunteeredforVietnam.Crazy,huh?Right.HowwasItoknowI'dneverbeabletostopfighting
thatdamnwar?Learnedsomething,though;acanofC-rationpeachesisworthapackof
Marlborosandadeadheroain'tworthnothing.Liveheroesaren'tworthmuch,either.Now?
Well,Iguessit'sOK,mostdays;Igotajob,gotadivorce,gotmarriedagain,gotsomekidsanda
houseandsomewheels,stuffinthefridge,gotachance,man,whichisallanyonehas,unless
you'renotaVetthenyoureallygotitmade.BustmyhumpsoIcanlivehalfwaydecentanditdon't
meannothin'.IrememberwhenIgotmyfirstkillandIfinallyunderstoodthatmyriflecoulddothat
magicthing,thatIcouldknockthelifeoutofahumanbeingwithjusttheslightestpressureofone
finger.Andknowingthat,Iwasafraid,Iwasscared.I'msorry,sosorrysosorrysosorrysosorry
sosorry.
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Comments on this poem/writing:
Luke Mudge (69.205.187.220) -- Sunday, November 4 2007, 07:55 pm our "govt" doesnt think like that.. which is why so many humans suffer because the "govt" doesnt care. Love you dad, another reason why my kids are never fighting for a country that doesnt give a damn about it's fellowmen and women |
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