Another Tear Is Released by Terrie*

as the children and i sat in the car waiting to pick you up from your job
I felt totally robbed
your boss approached me like somebody was dead
he came closer and nodded his head

he said,I had your husband transported to the nearest hospital
he wasn't able to answer if your condition was stable or critical

I was wondering why I wasn't informed at my work place?
my mind was drifting off into space
all thoughts began to roam
I took the kids back to the babysitters home

all the way to the hospital I prayed and cried
the closer I approached my tears I dried
I went to the E.R and asked about you
they asked for your name, oh God.. I drew a blank I had no clue

they could tell I was a mess
I broke out in tears and told them I must confess
when i heard the news something happened to me from there to here
i'm married to this loved one whom I hold dear

I must be in shock
normally I'm as solid as a rock
at the moment I feel so ashamed
I can't even remember mine or my husbands name

i whispered heaven help me as I reached for my wallet to pull out my I.D
at that very moment it came back to me
they held me to no blame
as I gave them my husbands name

they seemed to be making such a fuss
they all walked me to where he was
I told them w/2 little ones at the sitters, for a short while I only plan to stay
they each hugged me and said he will be ok

I finally found you
you were in I.C.U
I do not remember how I got there
at the moment I really didn't care

I stood above where you lay
drowning in tears I did pray
I've never seen you like this

you want to speak
but your too weak
you mouthed out

babe, please do not cry i'm too tough to die

I bent over to give you a kiss
I tasted the saltiness of one lonely tear i hoped you didn't see
a taste of that day I'll never forget

weakly you reached for my hand
placed it on your heart
gave it a kiss

whispered, Babe you know that I will always be here to love you

another tear came rolling down my cheek
falling upon your's
as if a hug it could give, it blended in w/your tear

those two teardops met
and became one
just like you and I

I try not to think about today
all I want to do is take you away
how can this be?
your only thirtythree?

another tear came out of these eyes of mine
when the doctor shared that you will be fine
to play it safe I asked if you could stay over for just one more night ? he agreed
then sign the papers early morning for your release

it wasn't time for the angels to carry you away
because they knew I was taking you home today
guess who awaits in the waiting room w/hugs and kisses?
your daughter and son , it's their pop's they've missed

at the time my husband was 33 and our children were 5 & 7 this was the first heart attack he survived if you know of anyone whom you suspect has a heart problem or if it runs in the family..have them checked A.S.A.P heart attacks are silent killers...4 years later he died of a massive H.A
I was able to spend the last 4 days of his life w/him..little did I know they were going to be his last. (after doctors representing his job gave him a clean bill of health)sharing and re-reading these poems has helped me put closure to his death allowing him to finally R.I.P*

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