early this morning I went to sit with a friend
i happened to hear her faint cry
i sought out to see what was wrong
i was not prepared to see the vision that was before me
her husband called me , concerning her change of condition...
so I got off work and rushed to her side

I had seen her just yesterday
today i saw a lifeless portrait of a young mother
energy all gone, fragile little thing

she was a very dear friend
the wife of close friend of mine
we hadn't seen each other in over 2 years prior to last night
since they moved clear across to another state
we kept in touch via the internet
we shared many things in life

she handed me a letter that she held tight
she said ,it was something i was not able to share in an e-mail
she tried to mail it out many given times
but never had, I told her, we are sooo much alike ..
she smiled and said ,"Terrie, you know me..
my tomorrows always become shadows of the past"

(i fought back more tears )

as I overheard the doctor tell her some more bad news..
I could tell amongst all the pain
she accepted the lord in her life
she knew it was past bargaining now
it really woke me up with such a force

sadness became so much a part of me
that little glimpse sadly walked me thru the shadows of her death
I was afraid of what lies ahead
knowing that today may very well be her last

she said she felt a strong surge
a connection to another source
she saw it as a definite sign
to prepare for that moment of her journey of no return
the life of a young mother is coming to an end

she cries not for herself
but...for the love ones she sadly must leave behind
if I could I would definently turn back time
a moment of her time precious as can be ...she shares it openly w/me
her voice has become weak
I open the letter while she weeps..

(tears fall from my eyes....)

(wiping tear) it tells of:
her pain and agony
she learned much too late when she had the disease
she was diagnosed for something totally different
her husband insisted on one more test
it turned out to be their worst nightmare...
she had cancer and it had metastisized
there is no cure no turning back

(my tears continue to fall ....)

as I read I ( sniff) could see the nurse standing over her
tried to hide the tears in her eyes
Amanda knows the routine too well ...
pain control, comfort measures was all the nurse could do
as she administered her routine dose of morphine to camouflauge her pain

my heart feels so heavy yet so empty...

(sigh)

with each precious breath she holds onto my hand
she whispers.. holding a picture of her husband and son
Cody will be turning 16 next month
a fine young man he has grown to be
if they're arrival gets delayed
please give them both an everlasting hug from me

the lump in my throat , doesn't allow me to speak ...

(an uncontrolled tear runs down my cheek)

please do not cry for me
tell them the same... ..
if at all...... when I have crossed over...let me shed the last tear..
at that moment her husband and son had arrived
I hold her hand tighter for a short time longer and allow it to rest below.....

(my tears become harder to control...)

with a few more words to share...
she turns to them and smiles
she whispers in a low tone raspy voice, please forgive me..
I love you both, more than life itself ...
her husband and son held her tightly in their arms

as difficult as it is we give her permission to let go ..

she gave them one of her famous forever hugs
kissed them both and with a smile she leaned back
clutching their hands close to her heart...
we knew the time was near

( we all try to hold back our tears as we promised her...)

they sat down on each side of her as the angels lead her away
we all witnessed her
last tear........ as she took her last breath
this young lady left a deep foot print in all of our hearts

(with tears in everybodys eyes we closed the chapter
as we all embraced her and whispered our last good-byes)

Death seems so final, we fear it the most,
because it is something we do not understand..
but we do know that some day we will all meet our loved one in the promised land...

------- Author's Notes -------

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