Everytime something bad happens there is always a what if.When someone hurts you there is always the ,What if they do it again.If someone tells you a very important secret there is always the, What if i slip and say something.But in this case the what if can only be what if i could have stopped it.When i think back and remember every waking, horifying second of it i think what if i could have stopped it. I tryed so hard. i guess my hardest wasn't enough. My shirt got ripped, and my pants did too. i was thinking God please tell me what to do. As i laid there and screamed no all he heared was yes. I was so weak. As i tried to breath all i kept saying was no under my breath. Just praying for him to stop. After he was done. I had tears running down my face. He left me all alone on the bed. All i could do was cry, and at one point i thought i was too weak for that. As i cried over and over again i got up and left. And he didnt have a clue. He kissed me on the cheek, said i love you baby, and watched me walk out the door crying. That night when i got home i called my best friend said good-bye hung up the phone, then just sat with the knife in my hand pray for the strength to press down. To this day I still pray for that strenght, but it hasnt come yet. One day i'll press down...........ONE DAY!!!