Abortion
23 November, 2003
Author: Tzuhsi
It's time to get ready and go outside
Another day I have to put on a disguise
So much pain I have to hide
Another reason that I cry
You think I am so happy
And full of joy
But I am really hurting inside
Because of a little boy
Everyday I live a lie
So no one will see the secrets I hide
I will tell you of one big thing
Something that haunts my every dreams
I killed my son
Without giving him a chance
He was 8 weeks old
With tiny hands
I thought it would be for the best
That October 23rd they sucked out his chest
I thought it was all a dream
None of it felt real
Or so it seemed
It has been almost six years ago
I wonder who he would have been
fIf I had just given him a chance to grow
I was in and out withing 30 minutes
They said it was all over
And I will soon be better
I didn't think any of it would matter
If I took him before he could chatter
Who would have thought
That some tiny thing
Something I have never seen
Could have so much power over me
And haunt my every dreams
I'm sorry dear boy
I didn't give you a chance
To find true happiness
Love
And romance
I wish I could have been more bold
Instead of aborting you
When I was 18 years old
You have no idea what effect you had on me
If I hadn't been so stupid
You could have been here with me
| Tweet |
Comments on this poem/writing:
| mental (66.153.163.221) -- Tuesday, November 25 2003, 05:05 am i'm so soory so is that what is making you hurt inside? i was wondering if you were a male or female and your 24? again i'm sorry. |
| Seizure (65.80.81.6) -- Tuesday, November 25 2003, 07:25 am One way to help cope with the pain is to look on the other hand. What kind of life would your child have led if you had it at that point in your life? There had to have been other reasons that decision was made. You may be perfectly capable of taking care of the child now, but perhaps you weren't then. I don't know about anyone else, but I personally would have rathered my mother abort me than have me live the life I did. There's two sides to the coin. Good luck with everything. |
| tzuhsi (64.12.96.171) -- Wednesday, November 26 2003, 01:07 am Thanks. I was kind of scared to put this one up. Fearful of the reaction I might have gotten for the choice I had made. I am 25 now but it is something I just can't seem to let go of. Just one of many |
| Terrie* (65.148.213.228) -- Thursday, November 27 2003, 08:31 pm tzu,this was a touching poem... you did what you thought was best..do not beat yourself over that decision, that choice has been around for years....people decide to abort for many reasons, health being # 1. i respect your decision.....even though, depending on the circumstances i am against abortion.... i have to agree w/seiz, the pain in the decision could not compare to the pain inflicted on the child that they may suffer growing up with it's little life upon anothers hands..think about it..you hear of these things everyday...in reality the child may have been adopted..but note....also... not everyone is cut out to be a parent, whether biologically or thru adoption......many are killed by their parents own hands. i know that today if you decide to become a parent that you will be the best parent ever......keep that chin up..God Bless You! |
| Lily (63.138.135.111) -- Sunday, December 14 2003, 04:58 pm Hey i respect ur decision and feel that because it was ur own decision it makes it a good one. Im doing speech on abortion and i was going to use a poem in my intro so i was wondering if i could use urs. |
| tzuhsi (205.188.209.69) -- Sunday, December 14 2003, 07:44 pm Lily I don't mind if you use my poem if you think it will help somebody. It isn't that good but its how I feel. Hope it will help |
| KitKatrina (68.113.60.103) -- Tuesday, December 16 2003, 08:22 am This is a very powerful poem, that I think will help a lot of people. My oldest sister, 25, had an abortion a couple months back. I couldn't believe what she had done and I felt such hatred and anger towards her for doing so. I wanted her to feel bad about what she had done, but after I read this I realized she probably feels the exact same way. What I'm going to say, I am not trying to offend you, but to all of those who think they are ready to have sex, you better be willing to take on the chances of having a child as well. Even if you use protection, or you're on pills, the risk is very high. My sister was on birth control, but somehow she got pregnant. So just take my advice, because I know that so many teens out there are getting pregnant way too young. Sorry if I offended you in any way tzuhsi, but I loved your poem and I love all your poems. Keep it up! |
| tzuhsi (64.12.96.171) -- Wednesday, December 17 2003, 03:37 am Kit No you have not offended me. I use to be totally against the idea of abortions and would look down on those who had done so until it happened to me. I regret ever doing it and yet it was also a better thing at the time to do. The life I wold have given my child one not have had been a good one. It is really hard to deal with and has bothered me for many years. Just respect your sisters decision and understand that it was a very difficult decision for her to make |
| Shantie (67.70.93.3) -- Sunday, January 4 2004, 11:00 am Hey tzuhsi, I just wanted u to know that your poem brought tears to my eyes. I went through an abortion about 22 months ago and I still can't sleep at night because I cry at the thought of having made the decision that I did. Sometimes wish I could take it back but when I really look back I realize that the decision was made for a reason, and that it was the best solution for me. (I was 15). The decision was made because I would never want to bring a child into this world if I could not provide for that child properly and give that child everything that child deserved and more. So remember that your not alone and that u made that decision for all the right reasons. So thanks for that poem. |
| AKAM (64.12.116.197) -- Friday, March 25 2005, 02:14 am Tzuhsi, my step-daughter had an abortion yesterday. Me and her father are devastated and we tried to stop it from happening. Her mother talked her into it, the sad thing is she was 4 1/2 months along. I wish she would have read your poem. I am very sorry you had to go through that. I hope that by now you have a child to care for and love. |
| Sam (205.188.117.65) -- Monday, March 27 2006, 12:36 am I've always considered myself pro-life that was until my very best friend came to me with her problem. She is 19 and has a 3 month old little girl. She lives with her boyfriend and they are now raising his 3 year old nephew because his sister died in a car accident. They are also victims of hurricane Katrina; they lost everything. He is working at Burger King and they can hardly keep everyone fed. She is considering abortion because she was on birth control and got pregnant anyway. When it was my own friend dealing with it it changed my prespecive. I was always wondering how people could do that but now i understand. What kind of life would that be for any of the children involved. Thanks for sharing your story it may change more poeple minds about this subject like me. |
| anonymous (128.123.220.17) -- Monday, March 27 2006, 06:57 am I know this must have been very difficult for u to share. This poem touched me deeply. 23 years ago I had an abortion. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I felt much as you did for many years. Then my daughter had an abortion 7 yrs. ago. It was like reliving the whole experience all over again. But I had to stand behind her and respect her decision. Few people understand the gravity of this type of decision. so many are quick to condemn. I respect your choice. You made a responsible choice for your child, knowing that you couldn't provide the life needed. I commend you for your courage in sharing this poem. Thank you |
| tzuhsi (24.181.127.202) -- Thursday, May 11 2006, 03:52 am thank you everyone for being supportive and not critical of propably one of the hardest decisions i have/will ever be faced with |
| drea (170.76.20.10) -- Tuesday, June 27 2006, 04:58 pm thank you very very much it's this poem that made me keep my child when i told my boyfriend i was pregnat he wanted a abotion because my age. i thought about it and told him no then he told me i should think about rasing the baby all alone but you know he was wrong im not alone god is by my side and im not kiling some thing i made thank you so much all things are possable even life |
| ashley .s. (216.119.187.169) -- Saturday, March 10 2007, 06:43 pm it okay i dont know how you feel but i know alot of peoplw who has done what you did. the sorry think about it is it didnt bother them that they had killed there baby.think posetive at least he is in a better place and now god can take care of him.god bless you |
| Bipedalguy (4.156.108.101) -- Saturday, March 10 2007, 07:28 pm I'm so sorry for the pain you are suffering. I know it's impossible for me to know how much it hurts, but I know it must hurt. At that age we tend to make decisions based on perspectives that are too limited. I have made mistakes that I would give anything to undo. Your powerful poem is profoundly touching, and shows that you care. There are many who don't care. Be thankful that you do. |
| barb (67.58.202.69) -- Saturday, March 10 2007, 08:55 pm The pain must be awful, but think of the pain you would feel if knowing the child was living a painful life hurting everyday angry that she or he had to go through this. Yes their is adoption,but you never knows what kind of people would get your child . Remember you did what you thought was best. You spared your child from pain and struggle,if you ever wonder what he could of been. With anger and hatred he might of turned out to be a murderer.Learn from your mistake. don't out yourself in this situation again ok.thanks for sharing your pain. |
| anonymous (216.229.196.155) -- Wednesday, March 28 2007, 03:09 pm I read your poem while I was in debate class. At my school we've experienced alot of abortions to were the point that now they are realizing what they are doing. They are having children from grade five and up. This poems makes me not want to critize them for there past and help more teens have there babies. Thank you so much!!!!!! |
| 2 painful 2 forget (66.94.9.52) -- Sunday, April 22 2007, 10:02 pm I also go through the same pain as u are. I had an abortion a yr ago march 30, 2006. I was 18. Until this day i can forgive myself. I cry at nights and womder how i would be living right now with my baby by my side. It was a lil boy too. I was 4 months into my pregnancy but i made the mistake of choosing the wrong choice. Hardly anybody knows that i killed my baby. Everybody still thinks it was a miscarrige except for the people that help in making my decision and 3 other people i jst confess to what i did like a month ago. One of those 3 persons that jst found out includes my ex boyfriend the baby's father. Still sometimes i wish i too had died that die and i have cut myself for killing my baby. I jst cant forgive myself. |
| Jannessa (204.108.96.19) -- Wednesday, May 2 2007, 08:26 pm i like your poem cant i use it? how did you write this kind of poems |
| bianca (75.45.168.250) -- Thursday, August 2 2007, 02:13 pm Ihad mines last year and now im dealing not well these is the month i aborded my baby |
| bianca (41.243.6.239) -- Thursday, October 11 2007, 09:42 am this poem is wonderful. writing about your feelings always helps, but nothing can make it better. |
| cesca (203.84.162.200) -- Sunday, October 21 2007, 03:28 am very nice poem |
| Jena (24.131.228.142) -- Wednesday, February 13 2008, 12:36 am Your words gave me the chills. It was such a beautiful poem and its nice to see that people understand why people like you and I made the choices we did. This March will be a year since I had my abortion. Days are hard, nights are painful but I made that choice for reasons people wont understand but as long as we understand them, thats what matters. |
| ISABEL (204.108.96.20) -- Wednesday, April 2 2008, 04:45 pm This poem really went to i don't know why teens do abortions is nice i love it cuz it tell the true of teens when they go into abortion |
| Jade (71.57.121.177) -- Saturday, April 12 2008, 11:06 pm i am 19 in school working and i am in the same path i hurt day in and day ou about having an abortion i know it was not his/her fault but i thought it was was best for my education sp i totally understand ur pain |
| Melori p (66.81.129.139) -- Tuesday, April 22 2008, 06:13 am I feel sad of your poem almost made me cry it is sad to know that woman acctually do abortion thats why I think teenagers should think of the consecuenses before getting pregnant because when you get pregnant you have to carry with that the rest your life. |
| cristina robledo (206.78.213.254) -- Wednesday, May 14 2008, 07:20 pm im so sorry wat u been through i know how u feel its ok he's with god he's looking down at u he soden'that you trust u didn't mean to i feel ur pain...... That had happen to me i'm only 16 and my baby was 8weeks old to miss it and i cry every day cuz that pain hurts i'm stupid for doing that i regret it he or she was my baby Angel that Happened 3 weeks ago it hurts me and I wish Baby Angel was here.. |
| crystal (65.25.86.131) -- Saturday, August 30 2008, 11:19 am im sorry you had to go through all of this and i hope that you are o.k. i loved your poem.i used to be against abortions but now i see its a choice and i am very sorry again that you have to live with that pain. i lost my boys to child services so i kinda know how you feel i know it hurts to make choices that sometimes we regret but all we can do is pray for forgiveness and hope one day we can not hurt so badly.thank for allowing me to post this comment and let me be able to share my hurt as well. |
| |
Click here to read other Poems by Tzuhsi
Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack
COPYRIGHT NOTICE: All Rights Reserved. No part of this website, including all pictures and written words, may be reproduced or copied in any manner from this website without permission of the original author of the work. All poetry and pictures herein remain the sole property of the original author and/or copyright owner. All poetry on this website has been submitted by the original author of the work. To contact any author of the work please e-mail: dreamer@dreamersreality.com so the proper person may be notified.